savetheearth | Entry #A-4: "Ante" [February 21, Text]

Entry #A-4: "Ante" [February 21, Text]

Though the police and the Blood Keys obviously represent a threat to many numbered individuals, I have a question about organized religion, and what pulses might mean when framed within certain philosophical contexts. No matter how natural it might feel, if there really is another being nudging its way into an existing consciousness, changing a person's aptitudes, physical attributes and even their personality... there have to be at least a few churches that would consider that demonic possession, right? Has anyone tried to reconcile what's happening with influential religious practices, and do we have any resources for assisting anyone who might wind up the subject of an attempted exorcism? Those still happen today, they can be extremely dangerous, and I'm concerned about the possibility of frightened numbered people seeking out such assistance, or being subjected to it by their families and communities. Thinking you're crazy is one thing, but sincerely believing that the devil is wielding you as an instrument is another entirely. Probably not something that the FAQ page can successfully assuage, for the most tenaciously convinced.

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[Lazarus quirks a brow, falling into step beside Xander as the other man starts speaking. In the third person, about a character from a book. It's odd, but not incomprehensible. Some people might have difficulty talking about the person they supposedly were as being directly connected to themselves.]

What is this character's archetype? Or set of archetypes, if you prefer. He sounds complex.

[A chuckle escapes him at Lazarus' comment about being complex, but quickly brings a hand up to muffle himself. He didn't know why he wanted to laugh, but he did. Once he was in control, he brought down his hand and muttered a quick apology.]

Sorry, I'm not laughing at you. It's a bit of a... tic.

[Hopefully that would be enough to cover that. Although, he wouldn't be surprised if L didn't believe him. As for that question, he falls silent and tries to figure out what to classify his other self as.]

...At one point, he was a "hero" and something happened to make him "rebel".

[An understatement, perhaps, but L is prone to testing the waters rather than just diving right in. Especially where delicate matters are concerned, and he gets the feeling that this man's previous self falls into that spectrum.

He also understands tics, and wonders if this guy has ever been through any attempts at "correcting" them.]

So, his world was turned upside-down. That's a good setup. If he was really a hero, his reasons would have transcended law in terms of morals, wouldn't they?

[Lazarus wouldn't be too far from the truth. Xandaer prefers to not mention anything involving his family and their counter-parts that his other self knows. It was too painful for him to think about it.

The chuckling wasn't his only tic. In fact, his hands started to move on their own, tapping out a small tune on his leg as they walked. Talking to people caused his hands to become rather restless, but he would like to avoid having another incident of snapping his fingers and causing a flame to appear. He didn't want to burn more of his fingers, thank you very much.]

Yes. Except, I think his morals are gone completely due to an incident.

[He's not exactly sure when that happened since he was still missing several details about that point.]

Edited 2014-02-27 05:13 (UTC)

[It is his gift and his curse, but Lazarus seldom is very far from the truth. His eyes rest for a few moments on Xander's fingers as they drum out their rhythm sans music.]

That's a broad and serious claim. Morals are arguably what makes a person human. I question what kind of accident could be responsible for something so dire.

[An invitation to continue, if there ever was one, but L is treading cautiously.]

He's not human.

["I'm not human anymore either" was a thought that came to mind, but he refrained from saying it. His lips twisted in to a frown as he tries not to recall a horrible foreign memory that involved his other self being tortured. Luckily, it was replaced with a somewhat better memory, one involving a look-a-like of his father, but it included a threat of death for both sides. A warning that things could end up like that if his father was to become one of the numbered.]

...I don't know what it is, but it is enough to cause his allies to become wary of him.

[It elicited the response L was after, confirmation that this person's past self was not, in fact, human. The detective suspected that he would have said so if he'd simply asked, but speaking about it in the third person was established as a comfort. L preferred not to disrupt it, if possible.

That leaves the question, though... were the wary allies in the past, or the present? After the initial post this man made, L thought it was likely he at least perceived that he was losing friends.]

How had his fleeing morals manifested? It usually takes a serious breach of trust or a very wild change in behavior for a serious alliance to shift.

[Or he was bound to loose friends in the future due to his changes. He didn't have many friends to begin with, so there wasn't much of a loss if he decided on cutting ties.]

I don't know. I haven't figured out all of the details. [Well, more like haven't seen those memories that would explain his other self's transition.] ...I'm sorry for wasting your time.

[That really wasn't what L was expecting in the least. He blinked his large, dark eyes, turning them sideways on the man walking next to him.]

Wasting my time...? I hope I didn't give that impression. Honestly if 50% of my questions are answered at any given time, I am very satisfied. Most are not so forthcoming when a man seemingly wants to know these things for no reason.

[Xander's attention was on the side-walk and his boots instead of Lazarus who was beside him. He's silent as the other man speaks.]

I think I've answered quite a few of your questions with "I don't know", so I doubt you're satisfied with that. So, I'm the one that is apologizing.

An honest "I don't know" is more valuable to me than any other answer you could give, in a lot of ways. Don't sell yourself short...

[He glances at his own beaten sneakers as they shuffle along beside the boots.]

Just the fact that you were willing to talk to me is encouraging. A lot of people probably wouldn't have bothered after meeting me in person, much less taken me seriously.

Most people say "I don't know" is not a valid answer.

[A small chuckle escapes him at the other man's statements and a momentary pained smile crosses his lips.]

I guess you got lucky this time. Hopefully that luck continues for you.

As I said, I value honesty... and I don't think you're lying. Besides, I don't expect anyone to know everything possible about their previous lives... we're getting moments and snapshots, not enough to know the entire story ourselves.

[He doesn't return the smile, but keeps his dark eyes downward.]

What gave you that impression? [His head turns to look at Lazarus, his eyebrows raised slightly on his forehead.] Are you able to read people easily?

[Zelos had said the same thing to him, so he wouldn't be surprised if the dark haired man said the same thing.]

...You don't have to worry about answering any questions for me. I'm not one to pry about such details.

Just a hunch... it's not something I think you'd have a reason to lie about. I guess there's a certain type of person who might try to make their echoes sound different from how they actually are... but I think I can read people at least well enough to decide that you're not that type.

[He glances up when Xander tells him his secrets can remain secrets, and he offers a pale smile.]

Thank you. Being no one is, in so many ways, preferable.

[That gets a chuckle out of him.] ...Thanks.

[He continues to walk, although casts his blue eyes over to the other man before nodding.]

Of course and you're welcome.

I haven't eaten yet today. I'm going to go get some coffee. You're welcome to join me, if you'd like to talk more. If not, I can absolutely respect that.

I'll have to decline this time. Sorry.

[He shakes his head before slowing down with his steps, to reassess his surroundings and figure out which way was home.]

Enjoy your meal, L.

Of course. Thank you for meeting me, Xander.

[And with that, he turns and shuffles away, back bent like someone more than twice his age.]

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Entry #A-4: "Ante" [February 21, Text]

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