If you stumble across any nudes on there, just go nuts, I guess. [There aren't any.] Tap the Photos app, should be the top two.

[Said photo is, of course, a selfie, for maximum authenticity. Alongside Sara is a vinyl in sleeve, looking like a bit of an amateur print job, bearing the Supergrab album cover, differing only by the presence of the Condor Five logo.]

[Picture two is a closeup of the album cover, showing five scrawled signatures, among them the legendary Ruddha Gill, may he rest in peace, if they ever find the body.]

Your phone locked while we were doing the hostage exchange, by the way.