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[mightymegatron]

I could write something about how finding a pseudo-magical communications network is impossible and blather on about how I don't believe this and how I'm sure this is all a dream, but I'm not. Instead I'm going to ask a few very simple questions and I expect that they will be answered sooner rather than later.

First, what is the purpose of this strange little network of ours? Aside from apparently cataloging murders and discussing strange happenings?  

Second, who are all of you? The users, I mean. I can only backtrack through the archives so much before I get terribly bored and I'm not watching every video you people upload - I do enough YouTube browsing at work. Names would be helpful, even if they are pseudonyms. I prefer to know to whom I'm speaking. Just to show that this isn't entirely a one way street - I am Matthew. I also answer to Mr. Brillon. If you really have to be familiar, Matt serves just as well. And yes, that Matthew Brillon.

Finally - perhaps this isn't a question, so much as I'm thinking out loud - what good does this do me?

Well, aside from very interesting blackmail material, anyway.

Comments

[Audio]

[twopercent]

[Well, Jack's sure glad he hsan't said anything about his location lately. It's not a threat, but he's clearly not pleased when he says:]

You wouldn't live long enough to benefit from blackmailing anyone here.

text

[mightymegatron]

Well, that's not exactly a warm welcome, is it?

[ text; typed into computer ]

[secondcomingof]

You expect that they be answered?

[ Honey, no. That's not how this works. Lemme stop you right there. ]

And what exactly do you intend to blackmail us with, pray tell? You do realize this network is inaccessible to the ordinary populace, and thus no one in their right mind would actually believe what you say without means of legitimate confirmation, correct?

For someone with a reputation such as yours, you are awfully dim-witted, Mr. Brillon.

Switching to text

[twopercent]

Neither is threatening blackmail. I'd say we're even.

[mightymegatron]

Can no one take the barest hint of a joke anymore or are you all humorless?

[mightymegatron]

well, one would think you'd want to get a newcomer up to speed.

Awfully humorless lot you seem to be, though.

[secondcomingof]

You appear to be implying that anything you actually said was funny.

Quite the pity it wasn't.

[mightymegatron]

You do take yourself seriously, don't you?

[secondcomingof]

We're at war.

Pick a side.

[ Yeah, he's bros with Colbert. Deal with it. ]

[mightymegatron]

Well, I'd like a bit more explanation than "oh, we're at war, here's your M-16, go off and do battle."

The M-16 is purely metaphorical, of course.

[secondcomingof]

Not in my case.

[mightymegatron]

While enlightening as to your occupation, that still doesn't explain what we're meant to be fighting. Or how. Or why.

[twopercent]

I'm not really in a joking kind of mood lately, sorry.

[And since Matthew's been so kind as to introduce himself, Jack's willing to abuse name-recognition, at least for a brief moment of foul-spirited impact factor. His name's been on the news as a brutal killer of eight, and he's positive a man like Matthew watches the news.]

Name's Jack. Jack Sears.

[mightymegatron]

Well, if I can accept a magical network that springs from numbers in my head, I can accept talking to a mass murderer.

If you're telling the truth, anyway.

[secondcomingof]

Hold a moment, let me wave my magic wand for you and make all the answers coalesce out of thin air.

...

...

...

Well, bullocks. That didn't work.

I wonder why.

[mightymegatron]

Dear me, and here I assumed you actually had something to inform me of. Do we at least know what we're meant to fight? Or are we just groping blind and hoping we shoot something that's in the correct neighborhood?


As much as I love flailing blindly, I'm afraid that I prefer concrete goals.

[secondcomingof]

Perhaps you'd get more information if you were more forthcoming beyond waving around your ego as if it means anything. Just a thought.

[mightymegatron]

Says the man attempting to have a dick-measuring contest over the magical internet.

[secondcomingof]

It's not a much of contest if I've already won.

[mightymegatron]

I'd give a "like" if this network had that sort of social media nonsense.

[twopercent]

[Ah yes, when you put it that way... a brief moment is more than enough.]

Accused. I didn't do it. Of course, if you'd actually read half of what's been going on and didn't get so bored by all of it, you'd know that already.

[mightymegatron]

Do you have the time to read through weeks of backlogs?

[secondcomingof]

[ ...not bad. Ego stroking gets points, even if it was sarcastic. ]

What's been posted on the network is the extent of what he know. Beyond that, we can only guess as to what's coming, who's involved, and why.

[twopercent]

Make time.

[mightymegatron]

Oh, joy.