savetheearth | The last thing I want to do is hurt you.

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The last thing I want to do is hurt you.

Who: Kanti Singh, Karson Valenti and Avery Strider.
What: Kanti might not be able to fix all of her own problems, but she can help fix Karson's and she can bring about a reckoning the likes of which Avery has never seen.
Where: Kanti's father's car in a parking lot, then Avery's front door.
When: Backdated to after this conversation.
Warning(s): Mentions of drug use and probable mild violence.

Kanti doesn't have the luxury of being able to slowly emerge from the emotionally and physically shitty state she's been in since pulling herself and Karson out of the mines. She never really expected to have it anyway, so it's not a loss to her. She nods at her father when she's halfway to the kitchen door in her comfy sweater and yoga pants and, after a look at her mother to make sure she's not paying attention, he presses the keys into her palm and presses a finger to his lips. He has always encouraged her to be just the slightest bit rebellious, but she doesn't really have time to question why right now.

A moment later, she's in the car with her purse and no make-up to speak of, which feels completely bizarre and wrong but is also inconsequential. For all she knows, Karson has been cooking meth in a desperate bid to sleep, despite knowing better and being told better. Well, probably not the first one. But definitely the second. And all while she was out of commission, too.

"Idiot," she whispers to herself, rounding a corner. "Idiot." If he leaves the real world for one populated by people losing teeth and blowing up their own sheds, she doesn't know what she'll do. But she knows what she's gonna do right now, powered by anger and frustration as she is. Kanti doesn't remember the last time she was so upset, but it's not something other people forget easily.

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Karson sits on the hood of his dad's car, awaiting the reckoning like an anime convention goer awaits the Westboro Baptist Church. He has dug his own grave, and now he's mentally lining it with dried flowers and shitty pink tears. He has already gathered up every D.A.R.E T-shirt he owns and has burned them in effigy of his lost innocence.

He has embraced deviancy all in the name of trying to get a few hours of sleep. He has become the new Breaking Bad. There is no going back.

Instead, he periodically texts Kanti "im sorry im sorry dont hate me im so sorry im just so tired im sorry" while waiting for her to arrive.

Unlike Karson, Kanti does not text and drive because she is responsible and actually a pretty good driver. At least up until parking, when she rams into the stopper in the spot next to Karson's and curses before getting out of the car. She does not slam the door because only children slam doors. Instead, she closes it like normal person. She is a tense creature made up of drawn-up shoulders and balled fists and her anger is almost enough to cause a drop in the pressure even though they're both outside.

She walks up to Karson and wedges her her hands under his armpits and lifts him off the hood before pulling him close to smell him.

"You're right about the smell. Explain to me what happened," she says. If there is even one mention of meth she is going to be so fucking angry.

Edited 2013-09-17 00:20 (UTC)

Sorry, sobbing all over Kanti now, enjoy the shitty pink tears everywhere.

"I'm a ganja gremlin, a goddamn stoner. I did the drugs, because I thought I had no other opportunities, and now my life is over. What if school asks for a drug test? What if my dad asks for a drug test? I'm ruined." Wait, you wanted an actual explanation? I'm sorry, not going to happen.

After he leaves, she doesn't entirely feel horrible. Not quite like she just beat and raped his innocence out of existence, but man, it might be a little close. Avery started actively regretting the experience when he started fucking crying halfway through, which isn't entirely unusual but not in Karson magnitudes.

He didn't seem traumatized when he left, but she went through a joint on her own to try and calm her nerves, and it mostly worked. She texted him a couple times to make sure he was okay, but further than that she couldn't really... do anything.

And so she grabs her sketchbook and turns on some music and sets about drawing some shitty comics while laying on her futon and eating the last of the pizza that survived Karson and Crab's attack. She doesn't expect anything else of interest to happen tonight, other than maybe making a new videoblog and moderating the comments on her wankiest website.

Just. A quiet night.

(oops.)

It's a good thing she doesn't really care about this sweater, even if it is The Comfy Sweater with the perfect amount of softness and thickness. Kanti would really like to stay mad but honestly Karson is rather pathetic when he cries and it's only gotten worse since his tears got all wonky. The kitten-hold turns into a bridal carry and Kanti is now leaning on the hood of Karson's car attempting to do the consoling thing.

"Karson, no one is going to ask you for a drug test because the school doesn't care and, as much as it pains me to say this, I doubt your dad would be awake or sober enough to give you any kind of test, let alone a drug test."

Kanti would really like nothing more than to be discussing this over something to eat, considering she's actually quite forgotten about that physiological need today, and eating would probably make Karson stop crying and focus a little.

"Do you want to get ice-cream and then tell me who in the hell was stupid enough to give you drugs?" She asks this of him gently, not unlike a favorite aunt bribing a kid after said kid has been punished by mom. This explanation is fucking happening, god dammit.

Edited 2013-09-17 01:16 (UTC)

NOPE.

Fuck Avery's quiet night and fuck Avery. As far as Kanti is concerned, now is the time for a fucking reckoning. Karson has been mostly pacified with ice-cream and hugs, though she is still rather miffed at his behavior. But now she has someone else to direct her rage to, and that someone else is getting a stern knock on the door. Kanti could probably kick it down if she tried hard and was willing to waste her time, but then there might be Issues and Attention Called from neighbors. It's much easier this way.

She fixes up her hair as much as she can, brushing her hair back from her face and smoothing down her clothes. She needs to look sane and rational so that the door isn't slammed in her face right off. She also needs to look sane and rational so that she has time to kick an ass up in-between a pair of shoulderblades.

The knock is a surprise. Avery raises her eyebrows and stands up, cracking her back and padding in her socks over to the door, wondering who the fuck would come over at this hour.

Peering through the peephole, she sees... Karson? But also some Indian chick standing next to him? Okay, what even.

Surely possessing no reason to believe this is a trap or in any way an attempt on her life, Avery opens the door and squints out at her visitors. Her sunglasses are on her bedstand, and it isn't particularly bright in the hallway of her apartment, so she can't see them so well. She pushes her door open a little further to let more light out. "Kar? What the fuck?" It probably does not help her situation one bit that her apartment smells really blatantly of weed, not that she knows this is a problem yet.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, oh god, I'm sorry--" is about all he's going to get out. At least he's not crying anymore.

It's a tempting offer. Wherever ice cream is involved, Karson is involved. It's a universal rule of life. He is totally okay with being held like a wee petit babby, because this is Kanti and it's something that's probably happened in the past and will continue to happen in the future.

"O-Okay, okay, I'll ice cream... Only if I can get double chocolate raspberry swirl. If not, then I don't want any." Wow what a baby.

"Dude, Karson, chill the fuck out," she says, somewhat taken aback. She's completely freaked out now--what the fuck is wrong with him? Is this his crazy sister or something? Without really thinking, Avery reaches out to grab his shoulder, intending to give him a reaffirming little shake and tell him it's okay. Y'know, bro-to-bro.

"He's probably sorry because of me," she says, and intercepts said gesture by grabbing Avery's wrist and yanking her bodily out of the apartment before reaching past her to shut the door. It's not so much that she is going to murder this girl in the hall, but the smell is annoying her even more than before. The goal remains the same though. To reprimand and maybe issue a well-deserved punch to the face.

"And I have to ask, because I'm honestly curious. Are you some kind of fucking idiot? Because I honestly cannot think of a better explanation for this. At what point did you think intoxicating him with an illegal substance would be a good idea, given your short history with him? Given his general terror when it comes to criminal activity and so on?"

The jig is so fucking up for Avery that it's almost amazing. Kanti's anger isn't full of screams or shouts, or punctuated with unneeded displays of pointless violence. It's a lot like an arrow being fired. Straight and to the point and without any useless dangle-y bits.

This only happens because he is so easy for her to carry and is honestly just kind of cute and fluffy and adorable. Kanti huffs, because she is still upset at him and his silence and how his blubbering fails to get her anywhere near an explanation, but she has been his best friend for long enough that she is used to the buzzing feeling of irritation she gets when he decides to be the worlds biggest child.

"Ugh. Fine. You can get your flavor and then you are going to tell me what happened." And she slowly lowers him to the ground and holds out her hand. "Give me your keys, and get in the car."

It's funny because she's the one without a license.

"Whoa, what the fuck." She's glad her door is unlocked and she isn't currently locked out of her apartment, but she's also just been hauled out of her home by a monstrous looking teenager and is possibly going to get murdered? Holy shit. "Get your fucking hand off me, what are you even doing?" Avery snatches her arm away at the nearest convenience, and as such isn't really in the best mind to be paying attention to Kanti's next statement.

"Hey - fuck you, you know what? He's sixteen, he can make his own goddamn decisions. I didn't make him do anything."

And then she kinda awkwardly folds her arms across her chest and grumbles, voice lower, "Do we have to have this conversation out here? I don't know if you've noticed, but the police have been up our goddamn asses and I really don't want to get arrested."

Kanti cannot dredge any cares from Give-A-Fuck Bay as far as Avery's protests are concerned. The other girl has the physique of a recluse, the smell of pot, and the wonderful denial that typically comes with someone unwilling to take responsibility for their fuck-ups and their lack of foresight. Kanti has infinite patience for the latter when it comes to Karson, because while Karson could execute common sense on occasion, that is a rare thing to find him doing and as her best friend, he gets some leeway because she is hopelessly attached to him and rather biased.

"Really? And you're what? Fifteen? Thirteen? Some other age that absolves you of somehow convincing him that this might help him sleep? Of making sure he doesn't run off crying or emotionally damaged? That makes it somehow seem okay that you let him get into a four-thousand pound piece of machinery in that state?" Kanti keeps her voice level and her tone contemptuous. She is only getting angrier by the second and feels hot enough to fry an egg on. The sweater is thankfully thick enough to hide her glowing elbows, which are rather radiant when she's mad. The yoga pants? Not so much.

"As wonderful as you might feel attempting to absolve yourself of responsibility, I'm afraid that you have directed your pleas at the wrong fucking person," she says. "And I doubt your neighbors care enough to suddenly bother attempting to get you arrested now." As far as she's concerned, only one of them smells like they've been bathing in bong water and at this point she could give a fuck less about Avery's criminal record and possible additions to it.

"Look, I--" She sends kind of a helpless look at Karson, but doesn't really want to incriminate him. Besides, she doubts it would work. It'd probably just make her angrier. If possible. Holy shit, this bitch is on fire. "I didn't tell him to leave, he just fuckin' left on his own, it's not like I coulda stopped him. You know how--" --Karson is, she wants to say, but that doesn't sound like it'll go over well.

Because Karson is the type to hysterically freak out while alone and in a car, thus alerting the attention of his overprotective best friend. Welp. Fuck.

Kanti knows where Avery is going with her topic of conversation and sneers so fine that she may as well be royalty. Of out spite, she sidesteps just to block Avery's view of Karson and there's a sudden throb in her head that makes her grit her teeth hard and bring a hand up to hold the side of her head.

She remembers someone hopeless and pitiful hiding behind her, and someone hollow and threatening in front. She remembers lush green surroundings tinged with red. She remembers a cocktail of fear and panic, of concern and righteous fury boiling up in her chest. It is all tinged with a helpless knowledge that she cannot really do anything.

But this is not the same situation and she is not the same person. She can do something about this, and there is really only one thing she has enough brainpower for, considering the memory flowing into her skull and the vaguely nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach. Kanti launches a wicked haymaker straight at Avery's face like she was born to do it.

It doesn't hurt too bad, not for the first couple of seconds. Really, what hurts more is that she reels back and slams her head against the doorjamb after the impact of fist and face. It gets worse though, a couple of shocked moments later; she swoons, damn near. Dizziness overcomes her, her feet grow unsteady, and her heart goes crazy in her chest, in her ears, between her eyes.

It's a long moment of intense vertigo that she doesn't know how to reconcile, and when she comes to she's desperately gripping the doorjamb for support. "I don't..." her voice slurs, uncoordinated. "Don' think that was necessary, really."

She's never been punched before.

It doesn't feel exactly like she expected. (The head/doorjamb union probably didn't help.) She wonders if she has a concussion.

"You," Kanti starts, then trails off to dwell for a moment. In her dwelling, she remembers girl in red, herself, and a person behind her that she cannot see but can definitely feel. She remembers a damp smell and the smell of woods and dirt. She remembers being angry, and she's sure that it's bleeding into her run-of-the-mill rage. She breathes deep and repeats. "You are going to shut up, and you're also going to listen."

"I can't keep Karson from making what is obviously a one continuous mistake that involves hanging out with you, because obviously I cannot watch him forever and he doesn't even listen to me half the time." She pauses to give him a glare before continuing. "But if you ever, ever act as irresponsibly with him as you do with yourself, you are going to end up stuck on a ceiling or worse. Are we clear?" It is a boon, really, that Kanti even offers her the liberty of answering an actual question.

"How the fuck would you stick me on the ceiling?" An intelligent question, Avery. Totally relevant to the discussion.

Here's the thing: Kanti is actually right, and Avery probably deserved that punch for letting that shit with Karson be a thing that happened. It wasn't like she meant to do it, but intent is jack shit when the kid is panicking alone in his car after she let him run off.

Not like she's going to admit that, though.

Kanti gives her a look that would probably wither plants and make small children cry. "Don't worry about it," she says. "All you need to know is that I'll make it happen. I'm very good at persevering." Kanti is like a surgeon ant, in that once she grabs hold of something, she doesn't let go. The only real difference is that she lacks key biological traits associated with ants and that she doesn't have nearly that many friends.

"Now I'm going to ask you one more time. Are. We. Clear."

Don't worry, Kanti. Don't let anyone tell you that you can't be an ant. Any kind of ant you want to be.

She rubs a hand against her head, wincing. "Look, I dunno how you expect anything to be clear after head trauma like that. Oh God, what direction is even up anymore? Shit..."

Kanti grinds her teeth and resists the urge to pick Avery up be the throat and fling her out a window. For one, she doesn't need a murder charge in her life, as it is hard enough already, and for two, there aren't any windows in this hallway.

"This isn't a joke. I'm completely serious. If you do this again, I will kick your ass straight up into your shoulderblades." She puts a heavy load of emphasis on that last phrase and takes the opportunity to reach past Avery and open the door to her apartment.

Then she takes two steps forward, grabs Avery by the shoulders and looms for a moment, then turns her around and shoves her back inside. Afterward, she shuts the door, whirls around as majestically as she possibly can while her memory is re-aligning itself, plants two hands on Karson's shoulders and shoves him in the general direction of an exit.

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The last thing I want to do is hurt you.

Picking Up Karson

Avery's Apartment or whatever

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