savetheearth | Fangirls ruin everything

Who: Bakura & Marisa [+ Rubberneckers]
Where: Locke High's cafeteria
When: Friday, lunch time
What: Bakura's fan club is being more annoying than normal, so he hatches a plan with Marisa to get them to bugger off. Mainly, getting them to think he's already got a girlfriend. How could this possibly go wrong?

Bakura had hoped that this year, the fangirl problem wouldn't be as bad... and for the first few days, he had managed fine. Get to lunch late when he couldn't just spend it in Mr. Lyall's room, find the smallest table in the most hidden corner he could, eat fast, book it out of there before he could be spotted.

But the unfortunately familiar screech of his first name heralded the end of his fangirl free week.

"Oh goddamnit.." he sighed as the gaggle of girls descended like crows at his table. Even though there was only room for three, all five of them attempted to crowd around, pulling chairs from nearby tables without even asking and setting their trays down like tetris tiles before starting to gab on about their summers, trying to ask him questions about his own.

There was a new one this year, he noted sourly. Freshman most likely. Shyer and seemingly overwhelmed. And quieter. That was at least good...

He reached out and smacked away a hand that was attempting to touch his hair, giving a death glare at the offending girl, which only resulted in a beaming smile.

"--and I love the purple, it's just so you, where did you have it done?"

He ignored the question, starting to pack up his lunch to shove back into his bag.

Goddamn fangirls...

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"Hey!"

A call of rescue? A cry to do battle? Nope, just Marisa strolling over with her lunch tray. She looked over the crowd around Bakura, then shrugged and elbowed her way in to a seat near him. She cheerfully ignored any irritated looks as she leaned towards her friend. "So apparently they recommend dishwasher detergent for getting rid of that grape smell. You tried that?"

The temperature around the table dropped several degrees.

...of course Marisa would find space on the tiny table to intrude further. He sighed deeply, scooching his chair over to make room. "Dish detergent?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Guess it's worth a try... you can't still smell it, can you? I was sure that it had faded by now..."

It took him a moment to note the utter...silence from the normally annoyingly loud gaggle. Huh. Useful...

"Only if I get really close. At this point I think I'd have to actually stick my nose in your hair. But I mean if you want to keep it purple, you'll have to do it again won't you?"

By now it had gotten so quiet it had reached a state of negative noise that was almost louder than silence. It was enough that even Marisa was starting to notice something was up. Or maybe she was tipped off by the icicles forming on her fork of hamburger helper. She looked up at the tall girl looming over her to one side. "...What's up?"

Edited 2013-09-13 20:01 (UTC)

...

"Ryou, who is this girl?" demanded the most vocal of the group-- the one who had made to touch his hair.

"None of your goddamned business is who," he returned with a glare before sighing and resuming packing up his lunch. "C'mon, Marisa, let's get the hell away from these loons..." he half muttered, shoving the last of his lunch into his bag and starting to get to his feet.

"Mgrlmfl?"

She swallowed her bite and stood back up, looking a little confused. "If you say so. This suddenly feels like a bad neighborhood anyways."

In response, the rest of the girls stood as well, the freshman scrambling up a little late, looking almost panicked.

"It is too our business!" the bossy fan pushed, affecting a hurt tone. "Look here, blondy, I know they don't teach manners in Texas where you're from, but in the civilized north, one doesn't just barge in on a reunion of close friends!"

"Oh for the love of..." Bakura groaned, covering his face with his hand, the other going white knuckled around his bag as he reminded himself that he couldn't hit the idiot girls. Last thing he wanted was to get suspended for fighting in the first few weeks of school goddamnit....

Bossy Spice didn't raise a candle compared to some of the assholes Marisa had grown up with. She didn't wilt or retreat an inch.

"It's a free country, ain't it? Seriously, what bug crawled up your ass? I just wanted to tell him something and eat my lunch."

... This is simultaneously the saddest and most hilarious clusterfuck Skyler has ever seen. He's grabbing his mobile phone and shooting video as this entire thing goes down. This is probably going to end up as a Vine with cheesy telenovela music, or maybe the Disney channel logo on the corner if he feels ambitious.

"The bug is you! Just walking up and being so familiar with him!" came the high and mighty retort, the girl attempting to make herself look taller.

Bakura, for his part, was debating pulling out his phone and texting Mr. Lyall to have him called to the office... The tiny table in the corner was the worst for escaping from...

He put a hand on Marisa's shoulder. "Let's just get out of here..."

She let herself be pulled away, but shot a glare back that said "You're lucky I'm being distracted right now."

Once they got a modicum of distance she glanced back over her shoulder to see if they were following as she asked "What the heck was THEIR problem?"

The girls were still at the table, the loudmouth looking almost as if Bakura had punched her.

"Fuck if I know, those damned girls have been stalking me since I was a freshman," Bakura sighed deeply, shaking his head. "Keep asking me out on dates, trying to drag me to prom, every time I tell them to drop dead or fuck off they just seem to swoon and try harder to get in my pants. It's creepy...."

She took a step back to give Bakura a solid once over.

"You DO kind of look like a tragically misunderstood bad guy from a TV show."

Bakura made a face. "...Gee. Thanks. You're so supportive," he returned with flat sarcasm before sighing again. "I suppose the purple hair didn't help any either..." he muttered, leaning back against the hallway. "Right now, I would not be above kissing a dude in front of a crowd if it would get them to back off..."

"What if you just told them you already had a girlfriend? A biker from Canada who wears leather, rides a motorcycle, and carries a switchblade."

"They'd want proof. Tried it freshman year," he muttered, arms crossing.

"Know anyone who would pretend to suck face with you?"

She pondered this for a second, "Probably not."

"...When you put it like that, I'm reminded why I'm so utterly not interested in hooking up with--"

He paused, looking at the doorway to the cafeteria. "Shit. I think they're following. RUN!"

Without thinking, he grabbed for her hand and started dashing down the hall.

"But my lunch!"

She stumbled, trying to balance a tray and not get yanked off her feet, but caught up. "You can't just spend your whole school year running from a bunch of social rejects!"

"It's either run from them or get expelled for punching them in the face, I'd kinda prefer running, you know?"

Marisa furrowed her brow, then dug in her heels.

"Bakura, we have faced down far weirder shit than a bunch of screechy stalkers. This is pathetic."

It sounded like a dramatic declaration, but mainly she was just hungry and thus irritable.

Edited 2013-09-14 07:52 (UTC)

"If you can come up with a way to get rid of them that doesn't get me expelled, I am all ears!" Bakura snapped back, stopping and letting go to turn to face her. "I would rather be facing off monsters than those idiots because at least monsters I could go at without getting in trouble again! I have gone six months without getting into a fight and I'd like to keep that record going!"

He let out a long exhale, running a hand through his bangs before leaning back against the wall so that his head connected with a dull thud, his eyes closing.

She sighed. "...You owe me a lunch for this."

And off they went, lost in the crowd.

Fangirls ruin everything

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