[video]

[wirsinddiejager]

[Alan looks terrible, like he hasn't slept for a couple of days. (That would be because he hasn't.) He's still feeling nervous about bringing up the scorpion encounter and potentially having to mention his weird outburst, but he figures the network should know about it. Might as well do it now, when he's too tired to care much.]

Uh, hey. There was this big purple scorpion...thing running around the other night? It stung people and made them laugh like morons for hours.

[He yawns and rubs at his eyes, then takes a sip of coffee.]

Anyway, it was following Octavia and she led it to my house because for some reason she thought I might have a gun and, uh, we killed it. Together. It was a team effort. Go us.

That's pretty much it, just though you guys might want to hear about it.

Comments

[drama8om8]

Don't tell me how to distribute my illegal underage weapons cache, Alan. Pandalan. YOU will get TWO guns!!!!!!!!

[wirsinddiejager]

I REFUSE TO TAKE YOUR GUNS.

[drama8om8]

I WILL TAPE THEM TO YOUR BODY PARTS.

[wirsinddiejager]

WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT

[drama8om8]

WHY *WOULDN'T* I DO THAT. GUN LIMBS WOULD BE FUCKING AWESOME! 8D

[wirsinddiejager]

I DO NOT WANT GUN LIMBS.

[drama8om8]

I WILL COMPROMISE WITH ONE SINGLE GUN LIMB.

[wirsinddiejager]

NO. NOT EVEN ONE GUN LIMB.

[drama8om8]

STOP GUNLIMBBLOCKING ME!!!!!!!!

[wirsinddiejager]

NEVER.

[drama8om8]

I WILL COME TO YOUR HOUSE WHEN YOU SLEEP AND CLIMB IN YOUR WINDOW AND I WILL TAPE. GUNS. TO. EVERYTHING.

[wirsinddiejager]

THEN I WILL NEVER SLEEP.

[drama8om8]

CHLOROFORM EXISTS, ALAN.

[wirsinddiejager]

THIS IS STARTING TO GO IN A REALLY WEIRD DIRECTION.

[drama8om8]

*WINKS SUGGESTIVELY AND DOES THE FINGERGUNS THING* 8D

[wirsinddiejager]

NO STOP THAT.

==> video;

[drama8om8]

[ DOUBLE PISTOLS AND A WINK

EYEBROW WIGGLE

RINSE & REPEAT ]

text;

[wirsinddiejager]

remind me again why I am friends with you.

text;

[drama8om8]

Because of my irresistible charm and supportive nature and great taste in ice cream?

text;

[wirsinddiejager]

right yes the ice cream.

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[drama8om8]

That was MEAN and you deserve all the chloroformings you get.

>83
> 83
>83
> 83

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[wirsinddiejager]

I was kidding. that was a joke.

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[drama8om8]

Really?

I mean mine was too! I wouldn't chloroform you ever that would be entirely irresponsible and also morally wrong.
(I would use sleeping pills.)

(That was also a joke. OR WAS IT?)

text;

[wirsinddiejager]

wow arent you wacky and unpredictable with your jokes about drugging me and taping guns to my limbs.



wow this conversation is really stupid.

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[drama8om8]

Is this a deep-seated fear of yours or something? Like are you genuinely honestly haunted by my jokes about gun arms and gun toes and chloroforming you and watching you while you sleep?