"Oh, it's spite. Absolutely spite," said Chris with a wicked grin. "And shut up, Shiro, it IS useful. D&D teaches arithmetic agility and tactics. Stuff like the importance of sticking together. How to best use everyone's unique talents in a tactical combat situation. When not to touch the shiny thing. Creative, flexible thinking in high-pressure situations."

She grabbed Shiro's shoulders and pretty much shoved him into a chair. While her arms couldn't produce any more force than a normal human's, they were heavy, and had pointy parts.

"All of which are startlingly relevant to us now! You said you wanted to learn useful shit? Well, here's your first lesson -- what the fuck you do when you have crazy powers and are fighting monsters."

"So first we're gonna make you a character and then we'll either find a DM or I'll do it myself. Even though I wanna play my Warforged Warlock."