[The video opens with just a steady shot of the following flyer.]( image )[except pretend it's not as shit. or pretend it is EXACTLY as shit as it is.
After it's been up long enough to fully soak in all the details, it zooms away from the image and focuses on Jovan's face. He is wearing a huge black cape with a popped collar over a T-shirt that has like three different food stains on it.]
I hope you've all got life insurance because I am about to blow your fucking minds
here with this new magic show I scored at one of the casinos! That's right, folks, Jovan Burzek, the man himself
, will be up on stage pulling an infinite amount of dildos
out of a hat. Free souvenirs after the show, eh?
Oh, and if one of you could be pregnant and show up to my first night, that'd be great. I'm plannin' on helping deliver a baby, except the baby's going to be the anti-Christ. [He holds his hands out as though he's holding an invisible child and grins in a manner that can best be described as 'diabolical.']
Speaking backwards in tongues with three heads and goat horns and all. That'll
get my career off to a roaring start!
Just one thing: you all have to call me Angus O'Malley now. That's my story. I'm an Irish magician who's still learning to speak English like a normal person, alright? So nobody blow my cover![Never mind the fact that he already sounds painfully Irish as it is. He looks DEAD SERIOUS about this.
Speaking of dead serious....]
Oh, and one last thing--check me out on Vine, yeah? [He grins and winks, looking about as charming as he possibly can now.]
Spread the word, if you can. I'm trying to break their servers with how big this is going to get--Buzzfeed's got nothing on this![He holds up a slip of paper next to his innocent grinning cherub-like face with "squirtinglemonjuiceintodeathseyes" written on it. Should anyone choose to check that Vine username, they will see...a series of five vines, each of them showing Jovan dying a variety of gruesome, yet creative deaths while he shouts "I DID IT FOR THE VINE!". The account has three million followers so far, and appears to gain about another 20k every time the page is refreshed.]