Computer; Video/Audio

[deathcough]

[The video opens up with Souji leaning back in his chair, Cheshire-cat grin in place. It's broken briefly by a mild coughing fit that he quickly waves away before speaking]

Summer's started, but already I'm getting bored. Not bored enough to want to take summer classes like a certain over-achiever I can think of, but. Bored. Isn't anyone having a party or a road trip any time soon?

There was something about families being targeted too, right? Who else's families have had trouble? I should probably warn-- [There's a minor commotion in another room and Souji look up quickly, expression becoming aggravated.] Speak of the fucking devil. [He hits something on the computer and the screen goes off, but the audio is still heard clearly.]

What are you doing here?

That's now way to talk to your sister! Your exams and stuff are over aren't they? Why didn't you come visit?

[A pause] I didn't think you'd want me to.

Wha-- Souji, why wouldn't I? [There's silence. It stretches on until it gets awkward and Mitsu continues, grasping for a subject] How were your grades?

[Souji makes a soft 'heh' sound] Figured. Fine. I got all As, one B. [His tone darkens] Don't give me that look.

What look? I'm not giving you a look. I'm just-- Have you decided what to do yet? You know, Hajime's on his way to being a doctor, wouldn't that be nice? You're smart enough for that.

I know what Hajime's doing. I live right next to him. I'm not gonna be a doctor. [Actually, speaking off-- Souji coughs a little again] No, don't worry-- Knock it off! [it comes out harsher then he must've intended because there's a soft noise] ...I didn't mean-- Look, I need to talk to you about something anyway.

Is this about money again?

No. Well, yes I guess kind of, but I-

That's the only reason you ever get in touch with me. I came over here because I was worried about you, but you don't care about anything else, do you? [She sounds disappointed, upset] You've always been like this, you're so-- You're so selfish! You have a job, I shouldn't have to keep throwing money at you like this!

That's not what I-- I can pay the bills, I just need--

Can you? Fine, then I'm not paying for it anymore! God, Souji just... Why do you make everything so hard? Ever since you were little you've fought me and fought everyone and you won't listen to anyone! What are you even going to do with your life? Why are you in college in the first place if you're not going to do anything? I can't keep paying for classes like this!

[There's a repressed cough, but otherwise silence for a moment before Souji chuckles bitterly.] Yeah. You're right, I'm pretty useless. Why the fuck should anyone bother with a lost cause right?

All you ever do is hurt people, even people who try to help you! I'm at the end of my rope with you! Why can't you be more like Hajime, or--or anyone else? [Her desperate outcry speaks volumes of what living with Souji must have been like growing up.]

Just leave, Mitsu. [The rest of the conversation is muffled and there's the sound of the door slamming. Then the coughing begins.

It's a terrible, wet coughing that goes on for minutes, breathing difficult, harsh, and getting louder as Souji makes his way back to the computer and sits down again. Eventually the coughing subsides and the video is brought back on as Souji wipes his mouth, the side of his hand slightly red as he pulls it away-- or is it a trick of the light?

If he noticed the audio was on, he says nothing. His eyes look strange, sharp and empty] I take it back. Let 'em have her. [The video turns off.]

Comments

action

[iaijutsu]

[Hajime and Souji don't really knock on each others' doors anymore. There's little point in it, when they have each others' spare keys, and there isn't really anything either of them is that worried about the other not seeing to stop them from just walking in.

And knocking, at a moment like this, is just seconds wasted.

So Hajime doesn't waste the time in coming over, or in calling out to announce himself. He just steps a little more loudly than usual to give Souji time to hear him come in, and makes his way straight to his side.

He doesn't say anything.

What is there even to say?]

[deathcough]

Of course it's you. [it's not said meanly, just... bitter.} Who else would come running in...

[Souji shakes his head, sparing Hajime a quick glance, his eyes as chillingly empty as before, before he goes back to staring a hole in the desk.]

'Why can't you be more like Hajime.' [He echoes Mitsu's words mockingly.]

[iaijutsu]

[He winces. Doesn't say anything at first, but - the last thing he wants is to be used as an argument against Souji like that.

It's not like Hajime is some great example of drive and ambition, anyway. All he did was take the path that was pointed out to him, and follow it like it was the only thing that mattered in the world - because to his family, it might as well be. If he hadn't had those expectations spelled out for him, if his parents had told him they didn't care what he chose to do, as long as he did something...

...he doesn't know if he'd be doing much better, himself.

He stays a few steps back from the desk; after that, it's hard not to feel like he's intruding, or like he's making things worse, or something, but -]

I like you better as you.

[deathcough]

[He says nothing, but the words help. They reach something human still in him and he leans back in his seat and seems to slump.]

You're one of the few people crazy enough to actually say that and mean it. [He turns and looks at him for a long moment, saying nothing and just... observing. Whatever he's looking for he either finds it or decides it doesn't matter, because he holds out his hand to indicate he wants Hajime to come close, that it's okay.]

[iaijutsu]

[He closes those last few steps, reaching out to take Souji's hand and give it a squeeze.]

If I'm crazy, that isn't why.

[This whole past life nonsense, on the other hand...maybe.]

[deathcough]

[He pulls Hajime closer so he's standing between Souji's legs, and leans in to press his face to the other's stomach. Their fingers intertwine and he gives it a squeeze, his other hand twisting the fabric of hajime's shirt.]

What do you even see in me? And why can't everyone else see it?

handwritten

[wastingtime]

I have a relative directly involved in this, but other than that...

Most of my family lives far away. The ones I still talk to, at least.

text

[deathcough]

I just have my sister. Don't know what they thin they'd accomplish going after her though.

[wastingtime]

Antics aside, what would you do if she was in danger?

[deathcough]

Tell them that they have to pay for the funeral, I don't have that kind of money.

[wastingtime]

[oops that reminds him a bit of his other siblings]

Is she that terrible?

action

[redelivers]

[ It's some time later that Toshi pulls up in his truck, pizza in one hand and a six pack in the other. Not that he's condoning underage drinking or anything. ... But there were basically two options for him after listening to that exchange, and this is the one that doesn't involve punching a girl. Toshi prefers underage drinking slightly over hitting women. So here he is. He's not sure if Souji will even come to the door, but he's also not planning on giving Souji much of a choice. ]

Hey, Souji! [ Toshi's voice is gruff as he knocks with the toe of his boot. ] Come open this door before I take it off its fucking hinges!

action

[deathcough]

[There's a short pause before Souji shuffles to the door and opens it, staring at Toshi like he's not sure this is real life.

He rubs one eye, red from earlier crying, and stares again] What are you-- I didn't skip work, I had off today. [He eyes the pizza and beer and his stomach growls a little, reminding him he hasn't eaten since early this morning. He'd been prepared to go get lunch after talking on the network, but then Mitsu came, and...

He steps aside belatedly to let him in working on a form of autopilot right now.]

[redelivers]

I know, asshole. I finished my rounds today already.

[ Toshi only rolls his eyes as he shoves past Souji into the apartment. ]

--Jesus Christ, Souji. You live here? It looks like someone's shady underground bunker.

[ Not that Toshi is in any position to talk between his closet of a room back with his uncle and his borrowing Sano's spare bedroom. But this isn't about him. This is about Souji, and Souji not ending up like him. He sets the pizza and the beer down, having a glance around at the entirely spartan apartment, heaving a sigh before he finally just sits down heavily on the couch. He pats the space next to him, cracking open a beer before holding it out in offering. They're fresh out of the fridge of the corner liquor store just down that way and the pizza's still hot so they might as well get right down to it. ]

[deathcough]

Thanks. [It's said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes, but Souji can't help but feel a little embarrassed. His apartment's neat and clean, but he's never been one to bother with decorating. This was a place to eat and sleep and play video games late at night; Souji lived there, but it wasn't a home.] Decorating is a girl thing, I'm not good at it.

[It feels alien to have someone not Hajime in his space, but he doesn't feel threatened or particularly territorial. And there's beer being offered, so tentatively he takes the can and sits down. There's still a bit of distance between them as Souji slumps against the back of the couch and moodily sips his beer. He doesn't seem at all like the normal rambunctious guy he usually is--there are no quick, wicked grins or teasing words. Just a listless, hollow shell of a young man.]

If you're not here to yell at me too, why are you here.

[redelivers]

To give you a hard time about your decor.

[ That just gets Souji a flat stare from Toshi before he reaches over and gives Souji a hard shove. He's having none of this shit, Souji. He's here now and maybe nothing's fixed, but the last thing he's going to do is sit back and watch you beat yourself up some more. ]

I brought beer and pizza. Are you really going to grill me over why?

[deathcough]

Guess not. [Souji doesn't say much more than that. He sips slowly, but after a minute or so he slumps over so he's leaning against Toshi's side, hiding his face a little against the other's arm.]

...Thanks for coming. [His voice sounds miserable and muffled, but he means it. Hajime was nice too, but there's a certain warmth and comfort that only Toshi can bring, and Souji is glad for it.] I don't know what to say.

audio

[angelskills]

[ Ouch. That... that must have hurt. And the coughing -- that doesn't sound good at all. She hesitates for a moment before responding. ]

... Are you all right?

audio

[deathcough]

Right as rain! His laughter is painfully forced] Why wouldn't I be? Jeez.

audio

[angelskills]

Oh, um...

I'm sorry. That just didn't sound very good.

[ A pause. ]

It's okay to not be okay, sometimes.

[ Even though that's advice she never follows herself because she's a Big Hypocrite, other people shouldn't have to carry so much on their shoulders. ]

audio

[deathcough]

[There's silence for a moment. There are plenty of ways he could respond to this; he could break down and confess... but that wasn't his style. He could push it aside and try to flirt with her, but he can't gather the energy for it.]

It's not like I can do anything about it. Getting upset won't change anything so why bother.

audio

[angelskills]

The situation might not change, no... but bottling up how you feel, that must hurt.

I'm sorry. I don't want to tell you what to do or anything. How you feel, though... that is important.

shhh not late >.> also video/iPhone

[earnedmystripes]

...Souji?

[There is a pause of the Awkward variety, because what do you even say to overhearing something like that, especially when you don't know someone well? Kotetsu didn't even know that kid he sees every so often and checks up on when he gets a chance was on this network at all.]

You...ah, you alright?

[He kind of means both physically and emotionally, because that was some pretty awful-sounding coughing, but he'll leave it open as to which part the boy can address, if he chooses to address any part of it at all.]

late what alte i see no lateness!! audio/computer stil

[deathcough]

Oh, it's you. [Souji didn't particularly have any problems with the cop-- not more than he did what most other figures of authority.]

I haven't gotten in any fist fights in a couple weeks now. My sister disowned me and it broadcasted to everywhere.

But yeah, sure, I'm peachy. [No mention of the coughing, of course. He doesn't sound particularly nasty or defensive either, just...tired.]

there is definitely no lateness here, nope. permavid

[earnedmystripes]

[Welp. He winces just a little, less to do with being offended and more that it really was probably a stupid question. Kotetsu frowns, still completely unsure what to say but wanting to say something.]

...Yeah. Small magic-sort-of-internet world, huh?

[Stalling, stalling...]

I--mm. Might wanna get that coughing checked out. It sounded kinda harsh.

...

...

.....Don't. Don't give up on yourself, okay? I dunno what it's worth, coming from someone like me, but...you're not a lost cause. A lotta people don't even--don't even make it to college.

[He's a little flustered by the end of that, because hell, he just randomly dumped advice on a kid he barely knows and has no idea if it was the right thing to do, but he manages to keep it mostly under wraps, at least.]