[video]

[pheromonecoffee]

[TODAY EVERYONE IS TREATED TO A BEAUTIFUL VIDEO OF MATT WITH incredibly blue hair. He is relaxing at his desk and is completely serious looking.]

I am now a member of the cool hair club. If you wish to join, I will help with the dye. The drugstore down the street sells hair dye in blue, pink, purple, orange and green.

[He looks like he's going to say something else. Decides against it. Leans forward as if he's going to turn off the video.

Pauses. Leans back a little again. Looks kind of uncomfortable.]

Advice on not becoming a human sacrifice. Go. [And then he turns off the video feed.]

Comments

audio

[abhero]

Don't try to guilt trip me that's super rude.

[A pause.]

Tell you what, let's say you have to wear something embarrassing and spend one afternoon picking up girls in that outfit. If your manly charms are powerul enough you'll succeed anyway and if they're not, a costume isn't permanent and you can try again later.

Re: audio

[pheromonecoffee]

You are a cruel man. But I'll do it.

audio

[abhero]

I'm helping you. You're good at talking and if you can get it on with the ladies while wearing a costume, you can do it any time.

audio

[pheromonecoffee]

You noticed I'm single, right?

audio

[abhero]

Which is why this bet is gonna help you.

Re: audio

[pheromonecoffee]

I haven't been able to get a date out of costume, and I've been here three months.

audio

[abhero]

Then maybe you need to approach it in a different way. Hence the costume. Gives you a whole new perspective.

Re: audio

[pheromonecoffee]

Depends on the costume.

audio

[abhero]

Lobster.

My only reason is that there’s a seafood restaurant near where I work and I can probably get a mascot suit for free.

Re: audio

[pheromonecoffee]

You just don't like me, do you. You're trying to get me killed.

audio

[abhero]

Unless you plan on falling into a giant boiling pot I don't see how's that gonna happen.

audio

[pheromonecoffee]

There is no way to get a date in a lobster costume.

audio

[abhero]

I believe in you.

Re: audio

[pheromonecoffee]

I guess I don't have much choice.

audio

[abhero]

That's the spirit!

Re: audio

[pheromonecoffee]

So when am I going to have to do this?

audio

[abhero]

This saturday?

Re: audio

[pheromonecoffee]

Fine. Where?

audio

[abhero]

- [Insert name of the biggest, busiest mall in the city. For maximun embarrassment.]

Make sure you're in good mood.

Re: audio

[pheromonecoffee]

I will be the most attractive lobster anyone has ever seen.

audio

[abhero]

I'm sure you'll make all the girls swoon.

audio

[pheromonecoffee]

I will not share my luck.

audio

[abhero]

I wouldn't dream of robbing you of your accomplishment.