savetheearth | Entry #A-4: "Ante" [February 21, Text]

Entry #A-4: "Ante" [February 21, Text]

Though the police and the Blood Keys obviously represent a threat to many numbered individuals, I have a question about organized religion, and what pulses might mean when framed within certain philosophical contexts. No matter how natural it might feel, if there really is another being nudging its way into an existing consciousness, changing a person's aptitudes, physical attributes and even their personality... there have to be at least a few churches that would consider that demonic possession, right? Has anyone tried to reconcile what's happening with influential religious practices, and do we have any resources for assisting anyone who might wind up the subject of an attempted exorcism? Those still happen today, they can be extremely dangerous, and I'm concerned about the possibility of frightened numbered people seeking out such assistance, or being subjected to it by their families and communities. Thinking you're crazy is one thing, but sincerely believing that the devil is wielding you as an instrument is another entirely. Probably not something that the FAQ page can successfully assuage, for the most tenaciously convinced.

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[A pause here, a stray thought enterting his mind that he figures he might as well put out there.]

Almost makes me wonder if, in the place or time or whatever my "other" is from, people knew about them, would pray for or ask for their help.

[Context? What context? He knows little enough of the overall world his "other" comes from or how it works, anyway.]

For "them?" For gods? Is that what you're referring to?

My other was apparently a death god. They purified souls that had gone corrupt.

[Not such a stretch to think people could have looked to them for help from those Hollow creatures that would run about. If they were a danger to them, anyway. He's not sure if they were dangerous to living people or not.]

[There's a slightly longer pause than one would usually be accustomed to getting when conversing with someone as focused and meticulous as L.]

Something about what you just said triggered a very peculiar echo. "Shinigami?" It would be that in Japanese, wouldn't it? 「しにがみ？」

[...]

That would be the word, yeah. And I don't know how to read the Japanese characters. [Learning the language, but with romanized writing only.]

I had four semesters. I'm pretty good with Hiragana... I'm holding a photograph of a suicide note written in it.

What does it say about about shinigami in particular?

The first letter of each line spells it out... it has nothing to do with the main message, but I don't think it's a coincidence. I noticed it immediately.

Sure doesn't seem like a coincidence.

[He's not sure what to make of all that without further context, really.]

Not sure what the significance would be, overall. Near as I can tell, we were only supposed to deal with things after they were dead.

[There's one unfortunate memory where he's dealing with a living person in an unpleasant way, but he doesn't talk about that one much.]

If this person killed himself, he was definitely dead... and since the note appears to be written in blood on a.... maybe a prison wall? I assume he succeeded. This must be from another one of my cases. I suppose I might have solved at least one in Japan.

Maybe hoping we'd cleanse his soul or something.

But if it's from a case you solved and the guy was in prison because of you, why would you have a picture of a prison suicide note from him? That seems backwards.

I guess he might have been in prison because of me. I did echo back a pair of handcuffs... but I think that missing people were my primary concern. Primarily missing children; that's just how it feels.

[And how he wants it to be. God, how he wants it.]

What happens to a soul after it's cleansed? What makes a soul need that in the first place?

[What, you don't wanna put killers away, L?]

Which still doesn't explain getting a photo of a prison suicide note unless it said something about being responsible for something like that.

I'm not totally sure what happens after. But staying in the living world too long after death eventually causes so much despair that they mutate and try to feed on other souls.

... I guess if suicide is involved, there's a ton of despair to work with in the first place.

[Whaaaat? What kind of detective would rather put away a killer than save a child's life? ~~sob~~]

I... suppose there would be a lot of despair involved, yes. You probably don't remember being a Shinigami in that kind of detail, yet, anyway.

[~~Hey, now. In theory that can overlap!~~]

What I remember of it is the purification "process" if you can call it that, that they were organized in a military, and I held rank. But yeah, that's about it.

[~~Oh yeah definitely but there will come a day where the interesting killer gets preference over the lost child. And that will be a sad day.~~]

What's the "purification process" actually like? Do you know what rank you held?

Part of the mutation a corrupted soul goes through is to gain a bone mask over their heads. The "process" is cutting that in half. Kind of a one-shot deal, there. [Proof that purification is destined to be a painful process no matter if you subscribe to real-world religious practices, or stuff that sounds like it comes out of anime.]

I was a captain.

Were you always a Shinigami? Or were you human once?

That part I don't know.

[Not even put any thought into, really.]

Maybe you'll find out eventually... would you feel any differently if you found out you were?

[That's a really tough question, actually. Does it matter if his other self had been human once? How would he have taken such a change?

[... Then again, he's turning into one now, and a couple of uncomfortable memories aside, it's not so bad. If his other hadn't always been so, had he felt the same about changing? What else does it entail, anyway? He hasn't had any physical changes, doesn't expect any at this point. All the memories he does have suggest a fully human appearance. And that uniform he got as an Echo mostly fits him, even if it's a bit small. So that supports the looking human thing, too.

[Having military rank . . . that implies there had been training, but could humans turn into something else just from that? Maybe he had always been one, and the training just refined it. That seems less drastic. But is it better? He . . . really has no answer for that.]

[It's a long time before any answer comes, an indication that he's been giving this matter some very serious thought.] I don't know if I would or not.

Sorry. Sometimes my questions can get personal, and I don't even realize it's happened until the other person wished I'd stop a long time ago.

If I was bothered enough to want you to quit, I would've told you to quit.

[He's straightforward like that.]

I appreciate that. Many expect one to know without anything being said.

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