savetheearth | [ Closed ]

Entry tags:

[ Closed ]

Who: Emil and Russel
When: February 7th, during school
Where: LCHS
What: Emil is up to no good. Russel tries to stop him and gets caught up in the mess.
Warnings: Excessive stupidity

Building a potato gun wasn’t too hard. There were what, a million internet guides? And you could buy materials everywhere. Emil has dedicated the last few evenings to assembling one and he was rather pleased with the results. All that was left is testing it (don’t get him wrong, he loves water balloons as much as the next person but it’s time to branch out).

Instead of being in English class like he was supposed to, he sat on a table in the empty courtyard, looking over the masterpiece. Next to him was a bag full of different vegetables. It’s called potato gun, sure, but he mustn’t rule out yams or eggplants! This was a scientific experiment and Emil took it very seriously.

He loaded the gun with a potato, aimed and --

”Whoa!”

The projectile shot out and hit a trash can so hard it toppled over, garbage scattering everywhere. This is awesome, he didn’t expect it to go this far! Still, a few adjustments are needed, Emil had a feeling aiming it at people wouldn’t be so well received as water balloons. Maybe with a different projectile… he peeked inside the bag, trying to decide what vegetable is next.

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Unlike Emil, Russel's excuse for being outside of his appropriate classroom was not delinquency. In fact, he was on his way back from running an errand for a teacher, which was pretty much the exact opposite of delinquency.

And he just so happened to have the misfortune of crossing the courtyard at exactly the wrong time.

One minute everything was as it should be, and the next--disaster. Russel ground to a halt, slowly turning his gaze down to himself. Thankfully(?) the trash can's assault hadn't landed anything above his waist, but--

Was that a spaghetti sauce stain? On his white wool coat?!

Don't mind him Emil, he's just going to stand here in quiet, horrified shock for a minute.

Emil looked up from the bag - he was definitely going with a pineapple this time - and realized he had audience.

No, not audience - a casualty. And the guy was just standing there, gawking like an idiot and letting the stain dry on his nice white coat...

Naturally, Emil thought it was hilarious.

"Hey, tomato sauce," he called, laughing. "Gimme back my potato, it's right behind you."

His head snapped up at the sound of the voice. "T-tomato sauce?!" he exclaimed, indignant and offended.

And then it clicked. This guy was the person responsible. "Get your own potato!" Russel shouted back. "Shouldn't you be in class right now?!"

"Says the guy loitering around the courtyard."

He loaded the gun with a pineapple and aimed - well away from Russel.

"Come on, don't make me go all the way there."

And boom.

Edited (ffff tense) 2014-02-09 05:51 (UTC)

"Who's loitering!? I have a hall pass!"

He realized, just a little too late, what Emil was doing with that pineapple. He quickly ducked behind the nearest bit of cover--the overturned trashcan--and covered his ears. That was what you were supposed to do when people started shooting fruit at you, right?

He heard it hit...something. Cautiously, he glanced out to see the pineapple splattered across one of the tables. Safe! For now. His courage bolstered by having avoided the attack (Russel he wasn't even aiming at you), he leaned out over the trashcan, one arm braced against it and the other pointing at Emil. "Knock it off! You could seriously hurt someone, you know!"

He snickered, but his amusement turned into annoyance when Russel started lecturing him. Emil hated being told what to do, especially when this guy was just a fellow student!

"What crawled up your ass," he said, rolling his eyes. "I'm not gonna hurt anyone, that's why I'm out here testing it when everyone's inside. I'm practicing gun safety."

Not that he knows that first thing about gun safety, but it sounded legit, right?

This guy...! Who brings a potato gun to school just so they can ditch class and shoot it off in the courtyard, really!

"That's not what gun safety means!" Not that...Russel knew much about gun safety, himself. But he was pretty sure he was right about that one.

He couldn't walk away and let Emil keep shooting fruit at school property. His options were to slink away and tell someone with some authority, or try to handle it himself. And, well, Russel preferred to do things the ~~stupid~~ direct way whenever possible.

He vaulted over the trash can, running at Emil with the intent of grabbing the gun and wresting it away from him.

“Pretty sure that is what it - HEY!”

Seriously, what was this guy’s problem? Emil worked hard on the gun and he had no intention of giving it up without a fight… except that he was pretty sure Russel was a football player and a close encounter had the potential to hurt.

So he opted for running awa - perform tactical maneuvers. Which meant he reached in the bag, tossed an eggplant at Russel and jumped off the table, clutching his toy.

Emil has always had a good aim.

Fun fact about eggplants: they aren't exactly the softest thing in the produce aisle. This one hit Russel square in the forehead and bounced to the ground, and came out of the encounter almost completely unscathed. The thin line of a split on one side was all the damage it had to show for its trouble.

Russel, on the other hand, let out a cry--surprise? dismay? pain? all three, probably--and reeled back, hands over his face. Thankfully, due to the increased durability from one of his Echoes, Russel, much like the eggplant, didn't suffer any actual damage. Aside from the fact that it really fucking hurt, that is.

It also pissed him off. Throwing eggplants at people, seriously, who does that?!

The distraction bought Emil only a few seconds at best. When he recovered, Russel snatched the eggplant from the ground, intent on returning it.

As a football player, he had plenty of practice at throwing oddly-shaped projectiles. Emil wasn't the only one with good aim.

Ha, right in the face! That’ll teach this guy to mess with him. Emil smirked and turned, time to retreat while Russel is incapacitated --

-- or not, because three seconds later the eggplant hit his back in a perfect bullet pass. Fucking jocks. And unlike Russel, Emil didn’t have the physique of a Looney Tunes character - he cried out and stopped, doubling over in pain. Who knew vegetables can hurt so bad, it felt like he bruised his spine…

“What the fuck, man?!” He turned angrily on Russel, pointing the gun at him. Since it wasn’t loaded and Emil was having a hard time standing straight, it didn’t look very threatening.

The eggplant rolled on the asphalt, forgotten. It looked in a better shape than Emil.

Emil's cry was met with a sympathetic/guilty wince on Russel's part.

Whoops. He had definitely let his temper get away from him there. He hadn't meant to actually hurt the guy.

But just as he opened his mouth to ask if Emil was okay, Emil had to go and point the damn gun at him. Not loaded, probably, but it was the principle of the thing! He was obviously trying to be threatening (and failing), and that was enough to dissolve Russel's sympathy and kick his temper back in. "Don't dish it out if you can't take it, asshole!"

Even holding the damn thing hurt now. Emil dropped the hand holding the gun to hang loosely at his side and rubbed his poor back with the other hand.

“You used excessive force,” he whined, indignantly. It was the only explanation for why Russel just brushed off the eggplant to the face while Emil was too sore to stand upright. “You’re a football player, right? You can’t use passes on people, there’s a reason you guys wear protective gear!”

He waved his right hand around for emphasis, gun flailing around. “A jock using his skills to hurt another student… that’s bullying you know!”

Edited 2014-02-10 07:29 (UTC)

The accusation of bullying got genuine dismay out of Russel. If there was one thing he couldn't stand, it was bullies.

Maybe he had used excessive force? Maybe he was throwing his weight around like a jerk? Maybe--maybe he should've gotten a teacher instead of trying to handle this himself?!

"But that's-- I-I wasn't-- I mean--" he sputtered, in a futile attempt to defend himself.

Huh. He wasn’t expecting Russel to take his whining so seriously, but if it made him back off, Emil decided to go along.

He huffed.

“Well you did,” he grumbled. The annoyance was genuine - that eggplant had bruised his pride too, not just his back. “And it really hurt. How’d you feel if I shot you in the back with this gun instead of at the table?”

Emil conveniently ignored the fact he probably would’ve try human targets if he ever figured out how to adjust it to “no actually serious injuries” level.

"But you--you hit me in the face first!" he protested, a bit of incredulity creeping into his voice. Russel hadn't liked it at all so it was a fair point, but...Emil's appeal to empathy kind of fell flat when it had already happened.

"So--so maybe," he continued, gaining some steam, recovering his indignation, "you should think about how I feel!"

“I hit you ‘cause you charged at me, it was self defense,” Emil said, warming up as well. Russel could have been planning to beat him up, as far as he knows! “And seems to me you feel fine, it’s like you didn’t even notice getting hit in the face. Your coat looks worse.”

"I was just trying to confiscate your contraband like a responsible upperclassman!" he shot back.

Let's just...not talk about why he was able to shrug off that eggplant to the face. Ignore it and maybe the guy will forget.

"Aha!" Emil pointed, dramatically. "You were trying to steal my stuff, I obviously was justified in hitting you. I'll have you know I'm allowed to carry a potato gun, it's called the second amendment."

He gave Russel a smug smile, seemingly unaware that's not how things work.

"That's not what the second amendment means!" he shouted back. This guy!!!! "A high school isn't a well-regulated militia so it's constitutionally acceptable to forbid students to carry weapons on school property! Your potato gun is in violation of the school's student code of conduct!!"

Emil started to yell once Russel said weapons, cutting him off. "Yeah well, it's not considered firearms here so I can bring it if I want!" To be honest, he wasn't sure how much it was true; he knew potato guns weren't weapons somewhere in the country but he didn't remember where. And anyway he couldn't care less about regulations; he had a bigger problem here.

He wanted his grocery bag back. He bought all the materials with his own money and while he had an employee discount, he had no intentions of letting it go to waste. These were perfectly good vegetables and he won’t just throw them away.

Emil went back to the tables, giving Russel a wary look. He better not try something funny…!

The teacher coming over from the side went completely unnoticed.

If not for the wary look, Russel might not have realized why Emil was heading back toward the tables. But he caught it, assumed it meant Emil was up to something, and realized he must be headed for the bag of produce.

Oh no. Oh no. Russel couldn't allow him to get his ammunition back, that could only end in disaster. Without hesitation, he sprinted to the table, hoping to beat Emil there and snatch the bag away before he could grab it.

The bag!! Emil broke into a run. He was fast, but so was Russel - seriously, fucking jocks - and Emil realized he was going to lose. He dropped the gun to the ground and flung himself over the table, hugging the bag like it was a long lost relative.

“Let go!” He shouted, trying to yank it back from Russel’s grasp.

Russel dove for it and got his hands on the bag at exactly the same time as Emil. When Emil tried to yank it away, he only succeeded in tugging Russel forward so he overbalanced and nearly fell onto the table.

He planted a foot against the bench for leverage and yanked back; they were, essentially, locked in the dumbest ever game of tug-of-war. "You let go! As if I'd let you keep defacing school property with this!"

All the loud noises of flying vegetables and teenage yelling drew the attention of one teacher in particular, one with highly sensitive hearing. As soon as Karl aka Mr Locke heard the chaos, he made his way to the courtyard and stumbled upon teenage stupidity at its absolute finest. No really, this had to be a gold medal winner in the stupid olympics.

The teacher stood to the side for a moment and watched this little scene unfold. Only one question remained: would he be noticed or are teenage skills of observation really that bad? Going with answer b for $500, Bob. Engaging in a fight over a... bag of groceries (??) seemed have made them oblivious to everything else. An irate sigh escaped him as he finally made his presence known. Teenagers grumble grumble. "A noble decree, however it won't spare you from the punishment both of you are going to receive."

A nice and kinda scary glare followed from Mr. Locke, who stood a short distance away with arms folded across his chest. Disapproval practical radiated off the guy in waves. Okay, he was a kid once and did stupid shit, but this? This went beyond that.

Emil turned his head to the voice - shit, a teacher. This could've been avoided if it wasn't for stupid Russel. He didn't even get to try the rest of the vegetables!

He was used to getting in trouble and knew punishment was probably unavoidable. But no matter how obvious the evidence was, Emil always reacted the same way when caught - denying everything.

"We're just having a friendly disagreement, Mr. Locke" he said, still clutching the bag. "I wasn't doing anything."

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