savetheearth | Twenty-First Message [Text | Sheet of Paper - Forward-Timed to a More Reasonable Hour]

[When Nick sees this, he doesn't bother trying John's number. He just sets down his coffee, and immediately heads next door.

If Anthony's there, they can talk face to face, instead of over the nextwork. If John's there... then Nick can see for himself. He knocks sharply on the door.]

Anyone home? It's Nick.

[Too sharp! Anthony just about jumps on the knock.

Thought simmering down and cohering to a thank goodness - he hobbles over to the door, works toward fumbling it open a crack.] Uhh -- only - ...er - I -- I am -- [Coughing sound.] Uhm -- sorry -

I'm sorry, too.

[If John's no longer on the network, that is, because that... complicated feelings about it aside, it's a huge blow. His eyes are dark, but he gives Anthony an attempt at a smile.]

But I was looking for you, too. Can I come in, or... would you rather come over, in case he comes back?

[Not in much of a mood for smiling back - his eyes sort of chase up and down and then around Nick, and the short version of the answer to that's in place immediately; there's the obvious and if John's gone from connected to not just like that, and if he doesn't remember enough, he has no business being in this apartment.]

Is. [Coughs - voice still sticks thick.] - The hall --

[And then cut looser, carried on a somewhat heady exhale.] ...clear - ?

[That's definitely the safer of the two options, even if it only serves to hammer the point home - that John isn't safe any more.]

Yeah, we're clear. Come on.

[He moves aside from the doorway to give Anthony room to come out, and waits for him before moving back to his own apartment to open the door for them both.]

[He nods, hunches, and slips through the door - endeavors to push himself along at a quick stagger, and - stands, doesn't quite lean, off to the side of the door to Nick's apartment once they're there, but that's daft, it is obviously more sensible for Nick to be the one to close the door to his own apartment.

Now he strains a smile - with emphasis upon strains, as there's nothing detectably happy about it as opposed to grateful - and loosens it and edges inside. Partly turning as he does so to keep his eye on Nick - to check that he's not managing to make a misstep as he does so, somehow.]

[He does indeed close the door to the apartment, but when he sees Anthony standing off to the side - he reaches out, briefly, to rest a light hand on Anthony's shoulder. Nick does it without thinking, though it's not really the kind of thing he did before the network, or even a few months ago, before he moves on to the living room.]

Make yourself at home, Anthony, you can sit down wherever, I... when did you find out?

[Anthony only feels it lightly - his face twitches, also without really thinking, with whatever didn't quite make it into the not-smile that followed.

When they're both in, he casts a look across the apartment in acknowledgement, otherwise stays put, grabs ahold of the question, voice is, again, compressed, dry, rather thin - ] -- Just -- ten minutes ago... - maybe, er. [He can't be sure about that.] -- Tried, erm. -- Using his network number and er --

[He looks back to Nick and then around, all around, keeps some part of his brain distracted before he can go embarrassing himself over-focusing on anything; that sentence likely completes itself essentially anyways.]

Edited 2014-02-09 05:53 (UTC)

[He grabs his coffee on the way to the sofa, where he sits down, resting his arms on his knees.

For a moment, he just stares at the cup, looking exhausted and - just a little bit grief-stricken. He knows logically that no one has died, that John still lives next door and might even be better off, in some ways, but that doesn't change how Nick feels. Fleetingly, he almost thinks things would be easier before the network, when he didn't have friends like John, if it meant he wouldn't have to lose them.

But his moment of dwelling is brief, and it's only a few seconds before he looks back up at Anthony.

There's a more important reason he wanted to talk to him.]

I meant it, wherever you want. Look, I... I don't want to sound callous, because we only just found out, and maybe... maybe he'll come back, but right now, it's not- [He hesitates, and when he continues, his voice is quieter.] I'd feel better if you stayed here. Unless, I don't - unless you have someone else, you'd rather stay with.

[He darts a glance over to the sofa by Nick with a pull partly out of self-serving inclination and partly out of empathy but detection of the former rings louder - he stays standing and looking down as if he's been called over for a judgment at someone's desk.

He's worried at the start, with "I don't want to sound callous", and there's an odd rise and buzz at the suggestion that John may be one of the temporary ones, clearly he hadn't exactly been having an easy time of being one of them, and his particular brand of not-human, which was trouble that he hadn't even been allowed to know about, and all could, he still didn't know wasn't so, be happening all as it's supposed to be but God this wasn't fair - not just to him, definitely least of all to you, Anthony, you're the one who got him moving into a place that could accommodate two people, weren't you, and you were hanging too close to things it was apparently really far better you didn't touch on - but John'd had plenty of friends with them, and he'd been in on the entire "secret" bit, monsters, missions, everything that they "need" each other for and yet - good wringing twinge - that's all the more reason it's likely best for his peace of mind if he doesn't remember it all again...

Anthony swallows, brow furrows, regards Nick and looks around at the walls again - head-shake is more of a meander.] Uh - you er - you - ...you wouldn't --

[It's really a very distracted and confused way of saying "are you sure?" A bit drifting, high, and taut to a clean taper-off.]

[Nick watches him closely, trying to read him, but it's - harder, with Anthony, it always is. It makes him realize how much he uses not only expressions, but body language, the slightest facial tics, to try to get a handle on people. Something he never notices until he's interacting with someone who doesn't have them the same way most people do.

It unsettles him a little, puts him on uneven footing, but... not in a way that he dislikes.]

I wouldn't want you anywhere else.

[He doesn't say 'John'd want to make sure you were okay,' because while Nick believes that, it's not why he's doing this, and he doesn't want Anthony to think he's making the offer out of some sense of loyalty to John.

He's doing it because the kid's family.]

[And meanwhile it happens that any time Anthony thinks he's being scrutinized as the corner of his focus edges back sufficiently onto Nick it makes him anxious. More to draw from, perhaps, not less, he's being read for any point at which he might embarrass himself, and if it wasn't for a reason it wouldn't be persisting.

Nick's reply puts his eye skirting the area of the door - not on it; subconscious idea that'd give the wrong impression both in intent in what he's trying to get across and honesty - first thought that comes to mind to deflect that a little further from home is "Why not?" but that'd sound like fishing - it's a question for a question's sake.

the previous one that he didn't actually say will do, then. Grounding up from a throat-clearing - ] -- You sure -- ?

[It's more drawn-out but somewhat stilted, and on repeating it it is more of an honest question, and not one he'd rather go into the variants of - "I wouldn't want to impose" or any such would make it all sound too decisive, and this is all much too sudden to treat that way, and reading more deeply into any of that would necessitate another round of mulling over "if John comes back".]

[And right then, Nick's pretty sure that the both of them are just - watching each other, trying to figure out what the other one is thinking and feeling, which is complicated enough without both of them also trying to come to grips with losing John - and he can't even think of it as 'losing John' without his mind skittering away from the phrasing, insisting he'll be back. he could come back.

He doesn't want to say 'until John comes back,' to imply that he's only temporarily putting up with him, but... he can't say anything more permanent, not right then. When it hasn't been more than fifteen, twenty minutes since they both found out.

The only solution he can come up with is to tell Anthony why he's making the offer, but that still involves Nick talking about things he's never been good at.]

I'm sure. You're a friend, Anthony, a really good one. More than that, uh, I don't have very many people that I trust. And I... like spending time with you.

[...that sounded terrible, didn't it? Nick's pretty sure that sounded terrible.]

Edited 2014-02-09 09:13 (UTC)

[Indeed, it seems Nick is not failing in being a perceptive man.

And that - catches something in Anthony's stomach with a hook and pulls it straight down. Not painfully, yet not strictly pleasantly, either, under the circumstances this still feels colored by John's not coming back.

Repulsion from the idea of reinforcing that keeps him hooked elsewhere and reeled - not painlessly, here, a good sharp yanking straight - from asking if you want me around?

More constructive, bumbles out dragging low - ] -- What what uhm. What. Erh. - Do you want me to do?

[In return, is the meaning, and it's not touching on anything else - how long it'll have to be, any other what-ifs or backup plans, not until this all sinks in.]

[Perceptive Nick might have been moments before, about their current situation, but he completely misinterprets that question.

It doesn't occur to him that Anthony should have to do anything in return, and he's actually a little relieved, to be able to answer something concrete, like what they should do now.

It's an action to focus on, at least.]

We should move whatever you have over here, get you set up in the spare room.

[That can be addressed later then. And it shall.

Broken out from a cough:] -- Okay, uhm.

-- There's a - there's a spare room -- ?

[Also a for-its-own-sake sort of question with an odd shake and wave high at the end he can't exactly place.]

Yeah. Supposed to be for guests, but I don't actually have many of those, so it's just been empty.

[He wants to ask, are you okay, but that's - a useless question. Nick doesn't think either of them are okay right now, and... he doesn't want to talk about it, right then.

So instead, he sets his coffee cup down and stands.]

I'll help you, grab whatever you need.

-- It doesn't have to be furnished - ! Where I - ["Stay" seems like a bit of a loaded word; neither of them can say that they know how long this'll be, can they, or exactly how long either of them would like to be able to think it is, where John's a factor.] -- I don't have to sleep - ... - or uhm. [Small swallow, shakes his head.] -- Anything...

-- Just uh - just somewhere I can s - ? Stay out of the way -- if I... - when you need me to.

[He's begun turning his head ever so slightly between Nick and the door. Not enough to take his eye on Nick himself; it's more in the thought that Nick appears ready to get moving and he'll indicate likewise, ready when Nick is...]

It doesn't matter, man, everyone needs-

[And he cuts himself off abruptly, because he'd been about to say 'everyone needs a place that's theirs.' It's true, especially for someone Anthony's age - and despite how much Anthony's gone through and how mature he can sometimes seem, he's still a kid. No matter how well it seems like he's taking everything, Nick's not convinced that it isn't in part because he doesn't want to be seen as a complainer, because he's too focused on being polite and making himself useful.

Nick knows something of what that's like. And he knows how important it is to have some sense of belonging, of security, even if it's just a room that's theirs, that they can always go to. But there's no guarantee that Nick can give him that, no matter how much he might want to.

And it's possible he's projecting, a little.]

The room's yours, for as long as you want it.

[He starts out into the hallway, heading next door.]

And you don't really have to worry about staying out of the way; I don't have many people over, and pretty much anyone who might come is on the network.

[Whatever could've come after that "everyone needs" remains hazy on Anthony's end.

Meaningful enough that he emits a dry exhale in same vague, anxious stir of something.

Small cough and mumbles "All right - ..." when Nick changes his statement - looks between Nick's current and his own position questioning whether to follow and - yes, of course he should follow, he's the one whose belongings they're extracting, snaps out of pause with a blink, gets limping after Nick.

Another stronger cough, more of a throat-clearing, likewise endeavors to put a bit more clarity into his next question - comes out stilted.] - What if that changes -- ?

[Eye's wide on Nick, blankly do. All's still in a measure of effort to keep everything focused on the external - question just asked to keep more motion going outside the implications of things, pondering on what must happen when, what could happen when.]

[Nick glances over at Anthony at that question as they walk down the hall, biting his lip as he tries to figure out how to answer that.

It's a legitimate question, especially considering all of the circumstances, and Nick doesn't feel like it's something he can just brush off.]

That's... actually something I've been working on, since I remembered again. Let's get your stuff, and then we can talk about it?

[Working on?

Something in his mind is set twisting as he is foolishly, irrationally unsure whether to take that as maybe a bit ominous, it's easy to take anything one's at the gate to know as ominous nowadays - but...]

-- Uhh, o - okay.

[That said with a nod - and a look ahead to the door of John's apartment.

Hesitates a moment. It's his things they're getting - turning a glance over at Nick to invite any due being told to keep a step back, shuffles forward to open it.

He grabs the doorknob, turns it and pulls it open almost in one fumbling move, looks back at Nick just as it hits him with a quick blunt slam that he forgot to lock it on the way to Nick's.]

[He could probably leave it there until they're done gathering up Anthony's stuff and have moved it over, but Anthony's one of the few people that Nick's usually more or less completely honest with. At least about explanations for what he does, and trying to explain his reasoning.

Nick smiles slightly at him when he looks back, waiting for him to open the door - and in this case, it's a good thing that he hadn't locked it.]

It's probably paranoid, but I don't like talking about stuff like that where people can walk in on us, if I can help it. And I wanted to see if you had any suggestions, which is probably a better discussion for when we're not moving stuff around.

[Somehow with the timing of it the smile seems a little like poking fun - knows better that it isn't, but his facial muscles pull tighter in something sheepish.

He doesn't entirely look away while he gets the door open, stands well out of the way of the doorway, gives Nick plenty of room to come in.

Drops his head meanwhile, shakes it.] -- I don't -- I'm sorry. -- I know it would be... safer, if I.

-- Find somewhere I don't, uhh - have to live with anyone. - But...

[The flaws in that are, he admits, partly selfish, but all obvious - where will he be if he's... snuck up on, for lack of a better word? That definitely runs the risk of putting their entire situation under their nature in jeopardy, doesn't it, and how will he get around - that's the selfish bit, even if he's safe he does not want to be stranded alone.]

[He ducks inside when when the door's open, starting to move on further into the apartment, but stops short when Anthony says that.

His eyes widen briefly in something not-quite alarm, but definitely more than surprise, before he pushes a hand through his hair, shaking his head.]

Sorry, man, I should have been more specific. I meant, I'm working on a way that even if I forget, I can still be an ally for the network. I had some ideas I wanted to bounce off you.

Twenty-First Message [Text | Sheet of Paper - Forward-Timed to a More Reasonable Hour]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]

[action]