savetheearth | text/audio;

text/audio;

[ The post opens with a handy little form letter custom-designed by Octavia for people to fill out. Enjoy. ]

Dear Tavia / Alan / Tavia and Alan / President O8ama,

I, (YOUR NAME HERE), am pissed at / super pissed at / really super pissed at / shockingly attracted to you right now. What were you thinking / are you wearing, cutie(s). What you did was irresponsible / reckless / dangerous / actually pretty cool / worse than str8-up murdering a flock of 8a8ies and I can't 8elieve you would 8e so stupid / you didn't invite me / you are not dead / it's not 8utter. Wow, am I ever 8uttmad / asschafed / cheekstung / rearniggled right now. Damn.

To conclude, you are dum8 / 8rave / lucky to 8e alive / actually already punished enough for this / going to get punched in the face / a 8itch / in possession of a really gr8 8utt.

We are / are not friends any more. I hope you die / don't die,

love / no love from YOUR NAME HERE.

[ That done with, she switches to audio. ]

Just thought I'd cut down on the lecture time for everybody. Because while I am sure all of you are oh-so-fucking ready to sate your massive told-you-so boners, I actually have stuff to say! Like "thanks for being super cool badasses and saving us, rescue teams." And "wow those photos being shown on the news are unflattering as fuck." And "please remember we just spent days in solitary confinement thinking we were going to have our brains scooped out." Which means yes! Alan and I are entirely aware of how quote-dumb-unquote my plan was and all the implications of it and blah blah blah don't waste your fucking time fussing at us.

I also want to point out that like. Somebody would have got caught at some point anyway, right? Like this whole deal was only ever going to last so long. And if it had to be somebody it was good that the captives were us! People who didn't fucking talk even a little, no matter what they threatened us with. People who were brave and cool at all times! People who could contact the outside without writing a number in blood or snot or whatever and blowing this whole shitfest operation. You are welcome.

[ There's a half-uttered syllable, then a soft mmgh as she apparently rethinks what she was going to say. Then, in a falsely lighthearted tone: ]

And, uh. Since like. My face is out there anyway I don't really have shit to lose as far as that is concerned! So what if we had me record a message saying that we ain't terrorists. Maybe explain our deal a little or something? And then put it on Youtube or send it to the press or whatever. Like, if there is a way to do that safely and securely and not get caught. And if people think that's a good idea and not me being fucktarded, haha! And stuff.

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the only reason you think hes uninvolved is b/c you dont know how i died.

im not being prejudiced about it and neither is he
wed both still do the whole break you out thing again
even if wed both still think it was ill advised to attack thundercorp
and we both still remember how it happened.

Edited 2013-11-30 19:45 (UTC)

[ Wait

Waity-wait wait wait

She should really know better than to ask for more here, since her sole memory of Sollux is "WOW THAT GUY HATED ME BECAUSE I DID SOMETHING TO HIM, SO MYSTERIOUS." And she's sort of working it out from context anyway. But it's better to know for sure instead of guessing, right?

Advance or abscond ]

L88ks l8ke it's t8me to pony 8p some deets, M8gido!
Lol.
Instead 8f try8ng to sound all sinist8r and mysterious and omin8us and st8ff may8e you sh8uld. Idk. Ela8or8 a little????????
You kn8w. If we 8re g8ing 8y strict "every8ody who w8s inv8lved has ~*a r8ght to kn8w*~" rules h8re. Wh8ch we appar8ntly are!

[ Well, she's not the only one losing control of her quirk, there. ]

he was mind c0ntr0lled int0 killing me
he came and burned my h0me t0 the gr0und
and als0 me

8h. 8h sh8t.
8h SHIT.
Shit.
W8! 8ut may8e y8u des8rv8d it!!!!!!!
I w8s JES8S so y8u m8st h8ve 8een a 8ad guy! A RE8LLY 8ad guy wh8 h8d t8 8e ST8PPED!

[ Except that doesn't really fit with the conversation she remembers, does it ]

8r m8y8e I SHE h8d to d8 it f8r s8me re8son!!!!!!!!
She w8s sorry 8fter I DIST8NCTLY REMEM8ER THE S8RRY P8RT.

if she was s0rry after d0 y0u think it pr0bable it was entirely deserved?
i d0nt think it really matters either way
i presume y0ure n0t g0ing t0 try t0 make my b0yfriend murder me
and in the end n0 0ne has en0ugh c0ntext t0 understand the sc0pe 0r reas0ning 0f 0ur acti0ns

and i d0nt think being dead st0pped me fr0m d0ing things as such
alth0ugh dying wasnt fun

nightmares i can live with

[ There's a slight delay. Because echo. WHO COULD HAVE EXPECTED THAT?? GOLLY GEE GOSH! ]

Y8U D8D IT IT W8S YOU 8T W8SN'T CHR8S OR TAVR8S 8H M8 G8D YOU K8LLED ME 8ACK D8N'T YOU T8LK TO M8 A8OUT NIGHTM8RES H8LY SH8T

????????????

[ There are way too many 8s for her to make sense of that, wow. ]

Y8U WERE THE RO8OT TH8T PUNCHED ME 8UT YOU D8DN'T JUST PUNCH ME YOU K8LLED ME AND TH8N I 8LED TO DE8TH H8LY FUCK I THOUGHT CHR8S W8S THE PUNCH8R AND TAVROS W8S THE 8LEEDER WH8T THE SHIT 8H M8 G8D

[ Oh nooooooo. She doesn't remember that, exactly, but.

Writing in the air in blue blood, that she remembers. ]

0k
s0 we killed 0ne an0ther
h0w
nice

HAH!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!
8n't so f8cking gr8 when 8t t8rns 8ut past y8u is a f8cking MURD8RER, huh???????? It 8n't so F8CKING PE8CHY wh8n y8u are on the wr8ng end of th8s equ8tion! When you LITER8LLY KILLED JES8S! Sl8wly and p8infully and everyth8ng!!!!!!!!
Oof. Man! This must 8e TERRI8LE for you. 8ecause ok I pro8a8ly killed you first I guess! 8ut a killer is a killer is a killer. And past you was so 8rutal a8out it! I guess Spinneret may8e deserved it even though your death was only TEMPORARY, 8ut. Wow.
It sure is gr8 that I don't know for sure who Tavros w8s yet (oh w8, it's totally Travis, oopsie)! 8ecause he would 8e SUPER INV8LVED in this since he w8tched your 8ar8aric ro8o 8eatdown on Spinneret. And then watched her 8leed to death.
Maaaaaaaan. I 8et that would 8e super awkward and gross for the two of you if I ever 8rought that up. He might even get some traum8tic echoes 8ut of the deal!
Imagine that! Some8ody in this life kn8wing past you w8s a killer and did 8ad things. And pro8a8ly judging YOU a little 8it for it even if they say they don't! 8ecause that is how people work. Wow I 8et that would SUCK.

(Jsyk I 8n't going to tell no8ody a8out this 8ecause I am NOT A SNITCH. And also 8ecause seriously this would 8e a grody-ass memory for any8ody to get, even if they are kind of a weenie who needs toughening up!
So your murdersecret is safe with me and none of that stuff was a threat it was just a SUPER POINTED RUNDOWN OF HOW MUCH THIS FUCKING 8LOWS OH MY G8D.)

i d0nt care if you tell any0ne
n0 0ne i kn0w will judge me f0r this
but why d0 y0u always have t0 try t0 justify things
and try t0 hurt 0ther pe0ple if y0u cant?

try trusting y0ur friends instead.

8RE YOU F8CKING K8DDING M8????????
8f I w8s trying t8 h8rt y8u YOU W8ULD KN8W A8OUT IT.
If I was try8ng to hurt yo8 I wo8ld h8ve 8een all nicey-n8cey to your f8ce and then t8ld FUCK8NG EVERY8ODY 8eh8nd y8ur 8ack!
Did you miss the 8it where I said I won't t8ll any8ody 8ecause IT WOULD ALS8 HURT THE P8OPLE I W8ULD TH8ORETIC8LLY TELL?
W8, haha. Pretty dum8 of me. Man! Of c8urse y8u m8ssed th8t 8it! H8w incredi8ly unsurpr8sing. It 8n't like pe8ple m8ke a F8CKING HA8IT of 8nly seeing th8 8ad things I do and s8y wh8le conveniently ign8ring the g88d stuff! WOW.

And just fyi I DO TR8ST MY FRI8NDS H8W F8CKING D8RE Y8U.
8ecause my friends are 8ETTER th8n your fri8nds!
They see all th8 8ad things a8out me FIRST 8ecause they are kind of unav8ida8le 8ut then they 8other g8tting to kn8w me ANYW8Y. And that makes th8m pretty rad!
S8 FUCK YOU with y8ur snidey-ass little c8mment th8re. People l8ke Alan kn8w sh8t a8out me and Spinneret th8t w8uld g8ve you ALL the nightm8res!
You th8nk past you was the only 8ne she killed? Haha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
W8W ARE YOU EVER IN THE F8CKING D8RK A8OUT A8SOLUTELY F8CKING EVERYTH8NG.

[ ~~Achievement unlocked: self-absorbed Light player tl;dr ranting bullshit jesus take the fucking wheel~~ ]

Edited 2013-12-01 13:56 (UTC)

n0, y0u t0ld me all 0f that because y0u want me t0 feel bad ab0ut telling my b0yfriend
wh0 remembers the event in questi0n anyway
because we remembered this while saving you fr0m jail
ab0ut what y0u did in a past life
and als0 because y0ure upset that im n0t upset?

and since that didnt w0rk y0ure n0w having a fit

will y0u just calm d0wn
there isnt a reas0n t0 try and justify s0mething y0u have n0 c0ntext f0r
y0u d0nt have t0 fly 0ff the handle at the idea that s0mething y0u did might be unjustifiable
just chill

ST8P. S8YING. "Y8U!!!!!!!!"
There is n8thing *I* h8ve done th8t is unjustifia8le 8ecause FYI Spinneret is N8T ME.
She is some girl wh8se pow8rs I am g8nking and ev8n if I was TECHNIC8LLY her 8nce I am N8T HER N8W!
F8ck 8ff and st8p m8king out like y8u underst8nd why I d8 th8ngs 8ecause you o8viously DO N8T KN8W ME EVEN A LITTL8.

then why d0 y0u care what happened back then

I D8N'T.
Not as much as NOW anyway!
8ut if I DO g8t m8re like her I would kind of LIKE TO KN8W WHAT I AM GETTING IN F8R so I can like. Avoid the crazy mass-murderer slaver parts and just emul8 the Jesus parts????????
It is common fucking sense to keep up with all that shit and th8nk a8out it a lot! GOD.

i think av0iding crazy mass murderer slaver things is pretty easy?
i mean
just
d0nt d0 it

Wow, that is some genius level shit you are spouting here. How do you do it. Teach me your ways. ::::|

well!
i d0nt want t0 kill any0ne
y0u 0r any0ne else

i d0nt think theres really any super special secret t0 that
0ther than n0t d0ing it

8h m8 g8d SARCASM!!!!!!!!

i realize that but it didnt kn0w what else t0 say!!

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