savetheearth | ❧ 004 ❧ Audio from cellphone / Open Action

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❧ 004 ❧ Audio from cellphone / Open Action

[As the message starts, there's a sudden bit of laughter that echoes momentarily before Xander muffles himself. There's an occasional flush of water in the background. He was usually calm and collected when he addresses the network, but apparently today was not the case.

After a few moments of attempting to quiet himself, he manages to say something but in a hushed, but concerned voice.]

I know that the water situation is over with and I'm aware of zoned out civilians... [Then he's interrupted by a set of chuckles.] But I found myself within a group of them and started to laugh. It's been -- [Another snicker.] -- several minutes since that's happened and I haven't been able to stop.

[There's a twinge of fear in his voice when he says 'stop', but it's followed by a giggle.]

I don't think I can get out of here without drawing some attention to myself. So, I need someone to find me and -- [Another chuckle.] -- give me a sedative or physically knock me out.

[He's trying his best to list off his location without cracking up. But, it leads him to repeat the information several times. He can be found at the mall, the closest set of washrooms to a clothing store.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

There was a water situation? Why the hell do I miss everything?

[Don't mind Ray he pays attention to basically nothing.]

Anyway, uh. Well, I've got some Vicodin. But it's mine. How about I come over and kick you in the head really hard?

It happened back in August, lasted for a month. [A few more giggles escape him.] People who drank the water -- heh -- experienced a laughing fit more intense than what I'm presently enduring.

[There's a few more stifled laughs.]

...I'm not asking for prescribed drugs. [If only he had thought of bringing his own medication with him, but that would knock him out for hours. That gets a bitter laugh out of him.] That might work, but try not to cause a scene, all right?

Tch, I'd feel bad kicking a dude in the head, though...

Tell you what, I'll figure it out when I get there.

I'll be waiting.

I'll try to get there as fast as I can. Y'know, without breaking too many traffic laws.

[AND RAY IS OFF, eventually finding the right bathroom at the mall. It doesn't help that Ray is shit at navigating malls. ANYWAY he rolls in like 20 to 30 minutes later, peeking into the bathroom.]

Yo Giggles, where you at?

[While waiting on Ray, Xander was stuck with muffling himself with his shirt sleeve, despite still laughing.

Once the other man arrived and asked if he was still here, he emerged from the stall he was hiding in. His frame trembled slightly as he tries his best to repress his laughter.]

Thanks -- heh -- for showing up.

Noooo problem, buddy.

[Ray glanced back outside before fully entering the room. Hopefully nobody would have to take a piss any time soon.]

Okay, so we should probably get this over with pretty quick, huh. I'll leave it up to you. I brought my Vicodin. I also brought my fists. Both will knock your ass out, but one might suck a lot more.

Edited (forgot half my words somehow ooooooops?) 2013-10-23 02:43 (UTC)

I'm not going to take your Vicodin. [He manages to say with a straight face, before turning away to recompose himself.]

...I can deal with the pain. Don't worry about it.

[Another snicker escapes him. Ray has seen him after the fight with Mort's monster.]

You say "don't worry about it", but that's totally not going to stop me from worrying about it.

[Ray sighs and cracks his neck. He was really going to have to get used to all this weird shit.]

You know if I fuck up and don't manage to knock you out the first time I'm going to have to keep hitting you, right? Right. And then someone's going to come in here and be all "OH MY GOD WHY IS THAT LITTLE GUY KICKING THAT OTHER GUY'S ASS", and then mall security will be brought in and it'll turn into a giant clusterfuck!

So, I'm not exactly an expert at this whole beating people unconscious thing, so if there's a certain spot I'm supposed to be aiming for, you should probably point it out to me.

That's seems to be the case with most people.

[He'll be repressing another chuckle with his hand and tries to keep quiet as Ray speaks.]

There is.

[Which he will explain and demonstrate where to strike on himself, while trying to make sure he doesn't start laughing again. Because he doesn't want this to go wrong.]

...Got it?

Oh yeah, I got it. Okay. Just uh. I don't want to break your teeth or anything. So try not to laugh.

[This is the weirdest conversation Ray has ever had. he also realizes that TRY NOT TO LAUGH isn't good advice when it's kind of impossible NOT TO LAUGH]

Shit, uh. Think of something sad! What the hell is sad. Think about sad orphans!

[This was going smoothly.]

I'll try. [Heh.] But, I can't promise it.

[At the mention of thinking sad, Xander's brain didn't go to what Ray suggested and instead thought of his dead twin brother, Conleth. A sad chuckle escapes him as he lowers his head. Better strike now, Ray.]

[Well okay shit that was kind of sad looking? For a guy that was like, giggling and shit? Fuck fuck fuck okay, it was time for ACTION. Ray cocked his fist back and let that fucker fly, nailing Xander right where he'd pointed out. There was a surprising amount of force behind the punch for a guy who looked so tiny. Army training had it's perks.

As soon as he was SURE his fist had connected, Ray jumped back and pretty much started panicking like a moron]

I AM SO SORRY!!! ARE YOU UNCONSCIOUS!? DID IT WORK!? IF YOU'RE UNCONSCIOUS YOU CAN'T EVEN ANSWER ME SO WHY AM I ASKIIIIIIIING!?

[he then shut the fuck right up because maybe screaming in a public bathroom right after punching a dude wasn't the best way to avoid attention]

[Well, the punch connected properly and Xander's head snapped to the side. He stumbles back and crashes against the wall. A few seconds pass as he slumps to the floor. There's no response.

Sorry Ray, you're on your own now.]

...Maybe I should have planned this better.

[Ray kind of just leans against the wall for a minute. he needs a plan. AN AMAZING PLAN.]

Okay, no, I got this! Okay, I'll drag you to my car.

No, you probably don't weight too much. I can carry you. Probably. If anyone asks, you're really drunk, and you passed out in the bathroom. Fuck, but how's that going to explain the VERY OBVIOUS FIST MARK!?

Okay, no. New story. You're still drunk, but you got MUGGED! In the bathroom! And before you passed out, you asked me to take you home because ambulances are expensive! WAIT! Why didn't I ask you where you live!?

[NOPE still frustrated, Ray starts pacing around the bathroom pulling his hair AUGH]

WHY AM I STILL TALKING TO YOU!?

No. You know what. Okay. We're doing this.

[Ray will STOP pacing and heave Xander up the best he can, pulling one of his arms over his shoulder and half dragging him to the door. After peeking out, he decides the coast is clear. OFF THEY GO INTO THE MALL this will only end in tears.]

[Don't worry Ray, Xander will take the fall as well for poorly executed plans and they can both blame the buzzing for not being able to think straight.

He didn't stir at all during of the walk out of the mall and probably won't come around until a bit later.]

[Good because Ray's given like five different stories to five different people on the way to the car. And then three more stories when his neighbors were all "dude why are you bringing a drunk unconscious guy back to your apartment". What do you normally do with drunk guys neighbor i mean come on.

Anyway. Welcome to Ray's shitty little apartment, hope you enjoy sleeping on the couch while Ray paces around hoping you aren't dead.]

[Eventually, he comes around with a slight grunt, chuckle and wince. Well, he was experiencing a bit of pain, but that'll pass in time. He could always quicken the healing process by using a new ability, but held off for now since he didn't know where he was. He knew he wasn't at the mall anymore, judging from his present surroundings as he shifts to get a better look around. He brings a hand up to his jaw and calls out in a cautious tone.]

...Ray?

[Something SMASHES somewhere in the apartment, followed by a lot of thumping as Ray literally flings himself out of the kitchen and into the living room]

HOLY SHIT YOU'RE ALIVE!! THANK GOD, I thought I broke your face or something!!

It doesn't feel broken.

[Another chuckle escapes him as he shifts his jaw a little bit, but concern takes over.]

I hope you didn't break anything as I woke up... By the way, you didn't run in to any issues bringing me back here, did you?

I don't think I did, but I think I broke my fist on your face.

[Sure enough, his hand was looking kind of horrible, but fuck it]

You know what, I really didn't! Some people asked questions but most of them stopped giving a fuck when I told them that you were my super drunk, narcoleptic boyfriend and you really wanted me to get you home before Project Runway came on or something.

Edited 2013-10-24 11:33 (UTC)

Have you been putting ice on it?

[He shifts in to a better position to sit in, so he's no longer hogging up the couch. Although, he pauses at the story that Ray made up for him and another amused laugh escapes him.]

Well... That is a lot to take in. But, I admit, is pretty good for a lie.

I... No. I should maybe do that.

[Ray grumbles about how stupid he is for not ICING HIS HAND and instead of remedying the situation, starts fishing in his pocket for his lighter]

It was either Project Runway or Honey Boo Boo reruns, I figured Project Runway was a little more believable.

You should.

[There's another chuckle at the mention of the shows, although it was hard to tell if it was intentional or random.]

I trust your judgement, even though I have no clue what either of those shows are about.

[He's rubbing his jaw a little bit, remembering that he has a healing ability of his own. The only down side is that he wasn't sure how much he could heal with it.]

One's a sewing show or something and the other is this like, documentary of a bunch of rednecks. Anyway uh. How's your head? You need some aspirin? Or ice? Or anything?

[Having successfully located his amazing lighter, Ray crosses the room and grabs a pack of cigarettes off the table and lights one of them fuckers right up. mmmm smoooooooooke]

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AUDIO -> ACTIOOOOOON

ACTIOOOOOON

ACTIOOOOOON

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